Posts Tagged ‘small business’

How was MY week?

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

The bad client called to kiss my ass.  It was embarrassing.

The President of the United States came to Hooterville. His helicopter buzzed over our building. That’s as close as I got. But I was excited he came, and relieved our Tea/Douche Baggers didn’t make a bigger ass of themselves. Good God, people … settle down and learn to spell.

We put the finishing touches on a tire commercial that will run NATIONALLY soon on the Discovery and History Channels. Yeah, that’s right. I said Nationally. We’re above average here in Hooterville.

Brought our old office manager back. It’s heaven. I’ve been at the gym three times this week before 6pm.

Our designer had a colonoscopy. We gave him 4 rolls of Angel Soft and he named his polyps. We’re so weird.

I’m on the Board of our local womens shelter. The cash flow crisis we feared would happen, has.  Our fucked up state government owes us $200,000…and others plenty more. As the Board’s VP, I’m freaking out, trying to figure out a solution.  Your ideas and suggestions would be more than welcome.

I had to keep reminding myself that, even though I don’t get to do what I went into business for anymore, it’s still good. It’s just that now I shuffle papers, boss clients around…and get to work with cool people.

It’s cocktail hour in AdLand!

Being a good client

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

About 5 months ago, a client wanted to renew our relationship. They suggested they had not been a “very good client” in the past and wanted to begin anew, that they would be better about providing us with what WE needed to do a good job for them. WOW. Since then, we have worked incredibly well with these people because they held up their end of the bargain.  Working for them hasn’t been a chore…it’s been a pleasure and the results prove it.

In a client/agency relationship, each has a set of responsibilities to make the process excellent and efficient.  Here’s what I ask for:

Be interested in what we’re doing. Engage us, ask questions, provide us with the information we ask for in a timely manner. I don’t want to feel like I care about your business image more than you do.

Return my call or email. I’m calling because I need an answer or information in order to HELP YOU.

Don’t dictate. If you knew how to do this, you wouldn’t hire us.

Pay us in a timely manner. And if you don’t pay your media bills, we are truly done.

Don’t try to run our business. Yes, I’m a woman, but after almost 28 years on my own, I can do this and it’s mine to screw up, then fix. Thank you.

Don’t drag your religion or politics into our relationship and I promise not to do the same.

Respect our process in developing the material. We are creative thinkers, and see things very differently than you do and go about getting to the end result in a manner that might be foreign to you. Actually, this is why you called us in the first place.

Trust our information. It is our business to know ratings and data, technical applications and trends. We wouldn’t lie to you.

Remember, we sell time and talent. Every nit-picky thing you change- revisions, re-edits – cost us time and in turn, you money. We want to get it as right as possible from the beginning. Help us do that.

Be the client we love!

How much for my words?

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

I was making preparations for Italian Roast Beef, thinking about a very hard assignment we’ve been given. How will we ever give a Quality Assurance Program a look/feel/persona?  Then, it occurred to me. (Not the idea…I wish.) When do I NOT think about work? And how do I charge for THAT time?  I can see my Time and Expense report now: The idea came to me while chopping garlic for half an hour.

I have no answer for this. After almost 28 years on my own, you’d think I’d have a better sense of these things. I’m sure I leave money on the table. And God forbid, in a small town like Hooterville, they would think I’m screwing them. But, some vendors I have worked with charge for virtually every breath they take … and everybody knows it.  I am also a procurer of services, so I must be careful as I am responsible for the budget. I’m not smart enough to be a wheeler-dealer, and I really do give a damn about these clients, bone-headed as they sometimes are. I sell time and talent. My time, even when garlic chopping, must be worth something. Maybe it’s not how long it took…it’s that I can…and it worked.

Wonder how much I should charge for this one?

Bad Client Part Three

Monday, March 15th, 2010

So then, the bad client (If you don’t know who this is, then you need to be a regular visitor of the Chick Nest. Read here. Then here.)  calls me and asks, “You’re still gonna do work for us, even though I was a shmuck, right, because we need some radio to go with that new TV”.

I would not make this up.

Chief Cook and Copy Writer

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Ah….it feels good to be back. Or does it?

My sweetheart had a serious car accident. In a second, priorities shifted. But now that he’s better, reality  has shown its large ass and I’m reminded what the entrepreneurial experience is all about. After 27 years on my own, why am I still surprised how intense a day can be? It’s like the bus pulled up and everyone got off at the same stop. Clients need copy changes. Media needs to be planned.  Staff need a paycheck. In order to give them one, bills must go out. And surely, there’s a Yellow Pages Sales Rep who needs to be cursed.

In a small agency, you don’t have time to bask in gossip, awards, or winning new business. You learn to spin plates, buy time, reason quickly, stash snacks in your desk, keep beer in the fridge, teach clients to work on your time table, not theirs, and do it all with a certain amount of grace. That last part I have yet to master.

Today, I made a dent in the pile, engaged a potentially awesome new client, and planned tomorrow. I left my desk after 12 1/2 hours, numb and brain dead, but thankful that tomorrow I won’t have to answer to some ego crazed Art Director, put up with some annoying intern (no, not YOU Mags!) or a too-familiar office girl. It’s my nest and along with the stress comes the right to surround yourself with cool people who love makin’ the work. No Assholes Allowed.  It’s good to be  back!

Please…take a number!

Today…

Friday, January 15th, 2010

…I watched a 60+ clients eyes glaze over as I showed him TweetDeck and explained Twitter.

…I was polite to a guy named Brad from India who called about Internet Advertising.

…I did not feel sorry for telling a deadbeat client that if he can do his own web updates, then by all means, please do.  But if he wants me to teach him how, there would be a charge.

…I did not toss the postage meter out the window when it said “inspection due”.

…I out-shocked the client who calls me and attempts to shock me with excessive swearing and vulgar, sexual overtones. I actually rather enjoyed it.

…I was patient with the client who, instead of reading what I sent to her BEFORE she called me, she read it to herself while I was on the phone with her.

…I realized I will NEVER be able to write down every thing that’s in my head.

…I counted the minutes until it’s time to load the car and go skiing for a week.

See ya’ January 25th!  I’M ON VACATION!!

Can’t ride the Harley in this weather!

Makin' creative

Monday, January 11th, 2010

We were a company of 12 at one time, and now we’re down to three, along with a team of brilliant freelancers who are at the ready. This is by my design. But every Monday morning, I look around and wonder …where’d I put that creative, anyway?

Big agencies have big teams to develop big ideas for big clients. But it’s all relative. Our small clients have much at stake: keep the doors open, sell stuff, make payroll, stay in business…just like “big” clients.  And, they expect us to deliver a solid message that brings warm bodies through the door. Maybe our role is even more vital since these small companies depend on repeat, long term customers. They battle Super-WalMart and other Big Box Stores daily. Small businesses look for their niche and a way to survive. They look to us to make their message meaningful and effective.

Example: I have a mom and pop furniture store who is open only one night a week, closed on Wednesday and Sunday, (yeah, I said closed Wednesday) and open only 8am-5pm the other days.  Yet, in spite of the way they force customers to conform to the way they do business, and with all the Big Box competition they have, they’ re still the ones to beat.  I must be a genius.

When you’re as small as we are, time is the valuable commodity. There’s not a lot of time to bounce ideas, experiment a little, write, re-write and re-write again…not a lot of time to savor the process of making the work. While I get bored and frustrated with that one (long-time) client who wants the same “show and tell”  TV, it works.

I got into the business over 27 years ago because of the creative process. I love being a real part of video projects, touching the many different aspects of making the work. But the “give and take”, “lets try this and if it doesn’t work lets try something else” days are long gone. In order to survive, we must churn out “new and different” as best we can because even in a small town, clients expect your best effort.

We’re open, but not on Wednesday or Sunday.

Only in Hooterville.

Starting the New Year Right

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

You can’t tell me that big agencies don’t deal with the same idiocy we deal with here. (We just wipe Pork Rind crumbs off the conference table.)Welcome to Day Three of the New Year at a little agency in the middle of nowhere but at the center of everything.

Email: How’s the web site coming? Well, we haven’t heard from you since mid-November. We need your product information and most importantly, APPROVAL on the revised proposal we sent.

We need to reshoot the open. My wife thinks my shirt makes me look like a porn star. (It doesn’t) but what’s wrong with that?

I know you handle our advertising but we let a company who specializes in web design do our new site. Uh, OK.  But they’re using the wrong logo.

We suggested adding a campaign oriented domain name to further drive their message… a natural move. Their marketing director said: Oh, No. We cant change the domain name. I’ve already placed all the yellow pages. What part of this does she not understand?

Acct Rep: They paid one of the invoices but not the other. OK, you’re mailing it to the wrong department. Send it here-we’ve told you this before. Can I fax it? No. Mail it. Can I email it? It would be quicker. No, they want a mailed invoice. Can I call him? NO, BITCH. MAIL THE BILL OR I’LL DRIVE UP AND CUT YOU.

There.  I feel better now.

Don, where are you when I need you?

End of Year Bitch Chores

Thursday, December 31st, 2009

You big agency guys have it made. You have “people”. Here in Hooterville, the end of every month is chaos, but the end of the year is nerve-wracking. We do our own bitch chores. Aside from the client billing that must go out (or no one gets paid), there’s the mind-numbing data to assemble for the bookkeeper  and the accountant so they can determine if we’ve made $5.67 more than we did last year. My eyes glaze over  in this endeavor and I struggle to focus.

Then there’s the paperwork from ’09 to file away and keep safe in a bunker somewhere,  in case a client might have a question like, “I thought we bought drive time in April last year”.  I open notices from the landlord and insurance assholes who explain why they are raising our rates. Decisions need to be made about a new copier and a new video camera (yes, we’re going high def here in Hooterville.)  To add to it all, my compulsive nature takes cleaning and purging to a whole new level. Offices are scoured, trips to the dumpster are made, and our office refrigerator is looking pretty nasty. Ditto the toaster oven. (Who put left over pizza in there and forgot about it???)

But, the phone’s been ringing and the January calendar is filling up. The new year looks promising for this small town agency. And for this, we are truly grateful.

Happy New Year… to you and your “people”.

Careful there, you're not the client

Friday, November 6th, 2009

He called, wanted a meeting immediately, then bulldozed his way into our office.  He insisted something needed to be done and right away. He was losing money.  No, he wasn’t the final decision maker, but  he was a damned important strategic partner and they would listen to him. He liked a spot we did for the sister company. He hated the current marketing director of the company.  She was slow, unresponsive to his requests and should be be put back into the secretarial pool or fired. He’ll put his own money in to straighten things up, by God. He’d get us a meeting with the powers that be. And on the way out he said, you might “wear a low cut top” next time we meet.

We were certainly intrigued by this prospect. What if “this” and what if “that” began to float around. It could be a nice piece of business, but I resisted the urge to do any spec work-it didn’t feel right. (It wasn’t the low cut top comment, trust me.)

Anyway, good thing we didn’t spend a lot of time prepping a pitch. After raising every kind of hell, this important “strategic partner” was told flat out by the real decision makers this was none of his concern. Yes, they loved what adchicks team did for their sister company, but they are quite satisfied with their current mediocrity.

The moral of this story:  Never count your chickens before they’re hatched.

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That’s one…