How did this even get printed?
“A quick Freshness Pick-me-up throughout the day.”
“Feel your best”.
Seriously.
Are you serious?
Via The Consumerist.
And Via AdFreak.
And probably by now, via many others.
Posts Tagged ‘advertising’
Wash your Hoo-Hoo…your boss’ll be impressed
Monday, August 30th, 20106 1/2 weeks
Thursday, August 26th, 2010We want the billboards back. They were such a good morale booster for our salespeople.
After 6 1/2 weeks of primarily television (with two different offers), peppered with some radio and gratuitous small town (weekly) newspaper ads, the client wants his billboards back in the media mix. At our meeting today, we discussed this.
I was taught that the first person who talks after the question is asked loses. So I asked “Why?” and kept my big mouth shut.
“Our sales people are on commission and they’re used to seeing us on billboards. It helps us boost morale, and it shows we’re “out there” with our advertising.”
OK. What else? (Morale booster? Really? Buy ‘em lunch-it’d be cheaper.)
“Well, they haven’t seen our TV commercials. Sales are flat and it’s such a big change for them to not see our billboards.”
How are sales now compared to a year ago?
“About the same.”
It’s been 6 1/2 weeks since we were asked to place your media. If we could make a significant shift in that amount of time, given your product, budget and competitive set, we’d have the Budweiser account and I wouldn’t be sitting here fucking with you. (I didn’t really say that.)
“Well, maybe we didn’t explain it very well to them up front, about our shift to more television and no more billboards.”
Welcome to the mentality of small towns clients who allow their staff input in areas that are not remotely in their field of expertise, who think that their target audience is “everyone”, and who expect instantaneous results.
This is a small, regional cellular service. They can’t offer the iPhone. Their coverage area is spotty. They offer too many plans and have a history of changing their message with no consistency every 60 days. When their new Marketing Director was hired recently, she asked us to present a plan and their old agency to do the same. (The budget was reduced, and rightfully so. They were spending a fortune.) The old agency refuses to participate (WHY?), we present, we win the work, and the Big Cheese who wasn’t at the initial presentation-and should have been-comes back 6 1/2 weeks later and wonders where the billboards are. Huh?
Who is your customer? Why you and not one of the big cell carriers? Let’s secret shop your retail outlets and see just how good your “experts-at-everything” sales people really are. Let’s get the research you’ve commissioned (Thank God) in here to give a peek at what the regional market really thinks of you, and THEN plan accordingly.
It’s like you gave me one shoe, asked me to run the race and wondered why I didn’t win.
This is a LOT more than billboards. It’s a tangled mess of dysfunction. It’s gonna be interesting.
And you wonder why mommy drinks.
Making a call in Hooterville.
Rip it up…
Saturday, July 31st, 2010
We should do more of this.
Start a project, then rip it up and start again…and again…and again.
Until we get it just right.
Unfortunately, we don’t get too many chances to refine here in Hooterville. Time is a premium and this sort of self-indulgent activity isn’t subsidisied by small town clients. And it wouldn’t be appreciated. It’s not that the initial effort is “wrong”… it’s that creative development should be a process. There should be time to simmer, to let you understand and absorb what you’re making. Is it “just right”? Is this going to make impact with the audience? How can we write it, shoot it, design it that’s really different than what we did last time? And, once we get a potential customer motivated by the ad we do make, will the small town client not fuck it all up with crappy service or bad store hours?
I can only worry about what we can control. And everytime something goes out the door and on the air, I think of something we could have done better. Because every new day you look at what you’ve done, you see it in a brand new way. If there was only time.
Get your mind outta the gutter
Wednesday, July 7th, 2010It’s not what you think. This one is for your cat. What were they thinking? (VIA)
Agency Tart
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010Does anyone know what happened to agency tart? Her blog was quite funny and inspired me. I thought, hell this woman could be me except I’m in Hooterville dealing with nimrods who take the work we do back to their country club pals for approval while enjoying a few Budweisers. If she’s out there, do give her my regards. Her saucy diary of her day-to-day observations maybe got her fired?
And I quote: “Send me spam and I’ll punch you in the aorta.”
Charming.
Being a good client
Wednesday, March 31st, 2010About 5 months ago, a client wanted to renew our relationship. They suggested they had not been a “very good client” in the past and wanted to begin anew, that they would be better about providing us with what WE needed to do a good job for them. WOW. Since then, we have worked incredibly well with these people because they held up their end of the bargain. Working for them hasn’t been a chore…it’s been a pleasure and the results prove it.
In a client/agency relationship, each has a set of responsibilities to make the process excellent and efficient. Here’s what I ask for:
Be interested in what we’re doing. Engage us, ask questions, provide us with the information we ask for in a timely manner. I don’t want to feel like I care about your business image more than you do.
Return my call or email. I’m calling because I need an answer or information in order to HELP YOU.
Don’t dictate. If you knew how to do this, you wouldn’t hire us.
Pay us in a timely manner. And if you don’t pay your media bills, we are truly done.
Don’t try to run our business. Yes, I’m a woman, but after almost 28 years on my own, I can do this and it’s mine to screw up, then fix. Thank you.
Don’t drag your religion or politics into our relationship and I promise not to do the same.
Respect our process in developing the material. We are creative thinkers, and see things very differently than you do and go about getting to the end result in a manner that might be foreign to you. Actually, this is why you called us in the first place.
Trust our information. It is our business to know ratings and data, technical applications and trends. We wouldn’t lie to you.
Remember, we sell time and talent. Every nit-picky thing you change- revisions, re-edits – cost us time and in turn, you money. We want to get it as right as possible from the beginning. Help us do that.
Be the client we love!
Beautiful & Positive
Friday, March 26th, 2010In a belligerent, hostile atmosphere that has become the American personality, let’s end the workweek with something so positive and beautiful it should melt the most cynical heart. Then you should read the story of how it was developed. THIS is creative excellence. I’m off now to a wine-tasting weekend.
Kopy Kat Kindle Kommercial
Thursday, March 11th, 2010If you didn’t watch carefully, this could be a commercial for another company we know, doncha think?
Bad Client-Part Two
Sunday, March 7th, 2010He came in looking for a fight.
“No one likes the spot. It’s not us. No one gets it. We think we need to start completely over.”
Rather than hit him over the head with a light stand and strangle him, I kept my body language open, my voice level, and asked “Why did you approve it?”
A bit wild-eyed, he exclaimed “ The wrath of the Chick”.
I’m not making this up.
We told him two things: We are not starting completely over. The concept is valid and was carefully thought out. It needs to be given a chance to work beyond a quick glance via email to 10 of your pals and handful of air-time sales girls. We will make adjustments so you’ll feel more comfortable without screwing it completely up. Further, we are disappointed that you would send the work out to colleagues and competitors for their opinion. It was an inappropriate thing to do.
He sputtered, acquiesced and then, a telling moment. He stood up and offered his hand. I didn’t stand up, neither did my camera guy. We kept our seats and shook his hand. I did not see him to the door.
Final note: Instead of a “settlement”, he sent $275 more than the original amount to cover the revision, acknowledging he had approved the work. Guilt money. (He’s about $1500 off, but that’s ok…we just want it to be over).
We all have clients who are high maintenance. It’s up to us to decide how bad we want the business. What’s the bullshit worth? In this particular case, it just isn’t.
The Wrath of the Chick.
It’ll be a cool Tattoo.