Guaranteed to knock the cynical right outta you. Pretty much a flawless pice of creative. (VIA)
Archive for the ‘advertising’ Category
Every Miracle-Pampers
Thursday, May 26th, 2011Stop Farting…and Smoking
Sunday, February 13th, 2011Why didn’t I think of this? (VIA)
Life in the Small Shop
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011I’ve been horrible blogger, posting nothing for some time. But far more important matters have had to come before this indulgence.
I lost my mother last September and am now in “charge” of caring for an almost 96 year old, and still quite sharp, grandmother. (She has stayed with me during the Blizzard of the Century and I now know that constant chatter DOES run in the family.)
My colleague (and BFF) just lost his mother at a very young 71 years. She was the kind of woman I can only hope to be.
In our Small Shop, indulgences are set aside to keep the plates spinning. We are just four people who all possess a particular set of skills, with an army of independent contractors at the ready. There isn’t another person or department to write the spot, shoot the video, design the ad, or file the paperwork. We are each an entrepreneur in our own right, depending on the skills of the other to make it all go. We need each other to survive.
Although I’ve never worked in a big agency, I imagine there may be a lot of time wasted stepping around big egos. Who has time for this? We have customers to steer through a clients door. There are clients who must be led, taught, scolded, loved, and tended to. Whether its in Hooterville or nationwide, is the objective really so different?
So blogging will take a back seat as real life whirls by. We must be accountable to one another because the business plan depends on it.
I’m the cute one on the right.
Selling Stupid
Friday, November 12th, 2010Over the last several months (hell, maybe years) the performance of those folks who sell local media time and space has become so inept, it’s like a bad sitcom. Imagine the fat, lazy Network TV girl who always asks “What are we running this month?” while she chomps her gum. The radio girl who quite openly uncrosses her legs in front of male clients, hoping to usurp any rational decision. Then there’s the really obese Cable girl who takes a fiendish delight in pointing out a $2 error. But the really interesting douchebag of recent note is the newspaper salesguy. He’s all passive aggressive, refusing to accept the fact that being the agency means WE place the buy, not his designer pal in the clients office. “You’re not my client. They’re my client.” Really? His emasculation is on the calendar.
I started by selling radio many years ago…before the FCC screwed the broadcast industry by allowing anyone a license to broadcast. My sales manager preached the problem-solving approach to selling a client. Is there any other way?
So, Dear Time-and-Space-Sales Guys/Gals: Don’t breeze into my office without an appointment. Do NOT pitch me a 2 by 3 space on the Pet of the Month page. I do NOT want to buy 15 spots during School Safety Week. Do Not tell me EVERYONE listens to your pathetic little radio station. And DO NOT ever, ever say to me, “You mean you don’t want to put your client in front of the 750 attendees of the Cooking School we’re hosting?”
Just because you’re in Hooterville doesn’t mean you have to sell like it.
Are YOU Dog Enough?
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010Thanks to sullieseverything for this find. Such a sweet spot. I love the British.
My Political Year
Thursday, October 28th, 2010If you’re in advertising, in any size market, you gotta be excited when November 3rd arrives. Political Ad Season is despised by just about everyone I’ve met…in and OUT of the business. The money spent is a testament to the size of the egos and amount of power to be had … no matter what level – even a small town. It makes me sick considering my local women’s shelter has just had to cut two more beds and turn away more women and their kids.
This is the first time in 28 + years we’ve been deluged by politicians. Media buying, copywriting, video shooting, audio taping, meeting, checks flying, e-mailing, phone calling, pre-empting (“You got bumped. Would you let us put you in Monday Night Wrestling?”)…it goes on. While none of the ones we worked with are bad people, I wouldn’t want them as regular clients.
The political marketing process on this level (and maybe others, though I doubt it) is “shoot from the hip, last minute decisions, a large amount of posturing, and waaay too many Indians.” Ya know, guys, if it’s that important, then why didn’t you spend more time planning….it’s not like you didn’t know when it was going to be November 2nd.
We don’t formulate the “message”, we just make it look good. We didn’t have anyone as titillating as Christine O’Donnell, (what an opportunity-this is my FAVORITE one) but we hope our guys win Tuesday. Then we can get back to work.
Wash your Hoo-Hoo…your boss’ll be impressed
Monday, August 30th, 2010How did this even get printed?
“A quick Freshness Pick-me-up throughout the day.”
“Feel your best”.
Seriously.
Are you serious?
Via The Consumerist.
And Via AdFreak.
And probably by now, via many others.
6 1/2 weeks
Thursday, August 26th, 2010We want the billboards back. They were such a good morale booster for our salespeople.
After 6 1/2 weeks of primarily television (with two different offers), peppered with some radio and gratuitous small town (weekly) newspaper ads, the client wants his billboards back in the media mix. At our meeting today, we discussed this.
I was taught that the first person who talks after the question is asked loses. So I asked “Why?” and kept my big mouth shut.
“Our sales people are on commission and they’re used to seeing us on billboards. It helps us boost morale, and it shows we’re “out there” with our advertising.”
OK. What else? (Morale booster? Really? Buy ‘em lunch-it’d be cheaper.)
“Well, they haven’t seen our TV commercials. Sales are flat and it’s such a big change for them to not see our billboards.”
How are sales now compared to a year ago?
“About the same.”
It’s been 6 1/2 weeks since we were asked to place your media. If we could make a significant shift in that amount of time, given your product, budget and competitive set, we’d have the Budweiser account and I wouldn’t be sitting here fucking with you. (I didn’t really say that.)
“Well, maybe we didn’t explain it very well to them up front, about our shift to more television and no more billboards.”
Welcome to the mentality of small towns clients who allow their staff input in areas that are not remotely in their field of expertise, who think that their target audience is “everyone”, and who expect instantaneous results.
This is a small, regional cellular service. They can’t offer the iPhone. Their coverage area is spotty. They offer too many plans and have a history of changing their message with no consistency every 60 days. When their new Marketing Director was hired recently, she asked us to present a plan and their old agency to do the same. (The budget was reduced, and rightfully so. They were spending a fortune.) The old agency refuses to participate (WHY?), we present, we win the work, and the Big Cheese who wasn’t at the initial presentation-and should have been-comes back 6 1/2 weeks later and wonders where the billboards are. Huh?
Who is your customer? Why you and not one of the big cell carriers? Let’s secret shop your retail outlets and see just how good your “experts-at-everything” sales people really are. Let’s get the research you’ve commissioned (Thank God) in here to give a peek at what the regional market really thinks of you, and THEN plan accordingly.
It’s like you gave me one shoe, asked me to run the race and wondered why I didn’t win.
This is a LOT more than billboards. It’s a tangled mess of dysfunction. It’s gonna be interesting.
And you wonder why mommy drinks.
Making a call in Hooterville.
Rip it up…
Saturday, July 31st, 2010
We should do more of this.
Start a project, then rip it up and start again…and again…and again.
Until we get it just right.
Unfortunately, we don’t get too many chances to refine here in Hooterville. Time is a premium and this sort of self-indulgent activity isn’t subsidisied by small town clients. And it wouldn’t be appreciated. It’s not that the initial effort is “wrong”… it’s that creative development should be a process. There should be time to simmer, to let you understand and absorb what you’re making. Is it “just right”? Is this going to make impact with the audience? How can we write it, shoot it, design it that’s really different than what we did last time? And, once we get a potential customer motivated by the ad we do make, will the small town client not fuck it all up with crappy service or bad store hours?
I can only worry about what we can control. And everytime something goes out the door and on the air, I think of something we could have done better. Because every new day you look at what you’ve done, you see it in a brand new way. If there was only time.
Being a good client
Wednesday, March 31st, 2010About 5 months ago, a client wanted to renew our relationship. They suggested they had not been a “very good client” in the past and wanted to begin anew, that they would be better about providing us with what WE needed to do a good job for them. WOW. Since then, we have worked incredibly well with these people because they held up their end of the bargain. Working for them hasn’t been a chore…it’s been a pleasure and the results prove it.
In a client/agency relationship, each has a set of responsibilities to make the process excellent and efficient. Here’s what I ask for:
Be interested in what we’re doing. Engage us, ask questions, provide us with the information we ask for in a timely manner. I don’t want to feel like I care about your business image more than you do.
Return my call or email. I’m calling because I need an answer or information in order to HELP YOU.
Don’t dictate. If you knew how to do this, you wouldn’t hire us.
Pay us in a timely manner. And if you don’t pay your media bills, we are truly done.
Don’t try to run our business. Yes, I’m a woman, but after almost 28 years on my own, I can do this and it’s mine to screw up, then fix. Thank you.
Don’t drag your religion or politics into our relationship and I promise not to do the same.
Respect our process in developing the material. We are creative thinkers, and see things very differently than you do and go about getting to the end result in a manner that might be foreign to you. Actually, this is why you called us in the first place.
Trust our information. It is our business to know ratings and data, technical applications and trends. We wouldn’t lie to you.
Remember, we sell time and talent. Every nit-picky thing you change- revisions, re-edits – cost us time and in turn, you money. We want to get it as right as possible from the beginning. Help us do that.
Be the client we love!