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We want the billboards back. They were such a good morale booster for our salespeople.

After 6 1/2 weeks of primarily television (with two different offers), peppered with some radio and gratuitous small town (weekly) newspaper ads, the client wants his billboards back in the media mix. At our meeting today, we discussed this.

I was taught that the first person who talks after the question is asked loses. So I asked “Why?” and kept my big mouth shut.

“Our sales people are on commission and they’re used to seeing us on billboards. It helps us boost morale, and it shows we’re “out there” with our advertising.”

OK.  What else? (Morale booster? Really?  Buy ‘em lunch-it’d be cheaper.)

“Well, they haven’t seen our TV commercials.  Sales are flat and it’s such a big change for them to not see our billboards.”

How are sales now compared to a year ago?

“About the same.”

It’s been 6 1/2 weeks since we were asked to place your media. If we could make a significant shift in that amount of time, given your product, budget and competitive set, we’d have the Budweiser account and I wouldn’t be sitting here fucking with you. (I didn’t really say that.)

“Well, maybe we didn’t explain it very well to them up front, about our shift to more television and no more billboards.”

Welcome to the mentality of small towns clients who allow their staff input in areas that are not remotely in their field of expertise, who think that their target audience is “everyone”,  and who expect instantaneous results.

This is a small, regional cellular service. They can’t offer the iPhone. Their coverage area is spotty. They offer too many plans and have a history of changing their message with no consistency every 60 days. When their new Marketing Director was hired recently, she asked us to present a plan and their old agency to do the same. (The budget was reduced, and rightfully so. They were spending a fortune.)  The old agency refuses to participate (WHY?), we present, we win the work, and the Big Cheese who wasn’t at the initial presentation-and should have been-comes back 6  1/2 weeks later and wonders where the billboards are. Huh?

Who is your customer? Why you and not one of the big cell carriers? Let’s secret shop your retail outlets and see just how good your “experts-at-everything” sales people really are. Let’s get the research you’ve commissioned (Thank God) in here to give a peek at what the regional market really thinks of you, and THEN plan accordingly.

It’s like you gave me one shoe, asked me to run the race and wondered why I didn’t win.

This is a LOT more than billboards. It’s a tangled mess of dysfunction. It’s gonna be interesting.

And you wonder why mommy drinks.

Making a call in Hooterville.