Archive for January 2nd, 2010

The Chick Predicts

Saturday, January 2nd, 2010

Scratchings here in the Hen House can tell us many things…like the Turkish dude who read my coffee grounds the other night. (Man, was he way off!)  The Psychics have predicted all sorts of interesting stuff. Imagine… a secret cloning project and they clone a famous person. Yes, Martha, that really WAS Elvis you saw in that convenience store. Anyway, with over 11 million hits for 2010 Predictions, I’ll offer  few of my own.

The client who hoped I could tell him who his customer was will become a greeter at the Super Walmart.

Rush Limbaugh? It was a severe case of vitriol. There is no cure for that.

George Parker stays exactly the same…and for that we are truly grateful.

The Happy Soul Industry will become a hit TV series. The late Bea Arthur will play God (she’s already in Heaven, so why not? Her sense of humor would be ideal). Steffan will retire to the south of France where he will make fine wine under the Curiously Heavenly label.

The Ad Contrarian will become President of the United States, fire everybody and start over.

The guys at Red House Furniture will open a chain of stores across the country, ending racial hatred through the selling of fine leatherette loveseats.

And speaking of furniture, Tim will trade in his Steel Chair for a Lazy Boy.

Jetpacks will get his novel published, make scads of money and go into business with Balloon Boy’s father dabbling in experimental aircraft.

Glenn Beck throws himself under a bus. Finally.

People will learn to spell, use their turn signals, and quit trying to shove their religion down other peoples throat. Hey, I can dream, can’t I?