Winter is coming soon. And I am in advertising. I think I could pull off this look.
Via Coilhouse
I must commission one of these.
August 31st, 2010“Better than a Bone”
August 30th, 2010This guy probably lives in Hooterville. It’s pretty scary, really. (VIA)
Wash your Hoo-Hoo…your boss’ll be impressed
August 30th, 2010How did this even get printed?
“A quick Freshness Pick-me-up throughout the day.”
“Feel your best”.
Seriously.
Are you serious?
Via The Consumerist.
And Via AdFreak.
And probably by now, via many others.
Kougar Magazine
August 28th, 2010Sharing from The Dog and Pony Show, I loved this. I’m too old to be a Kougar, (perhaps a Puma) but now there’s a magazine dedicated to them. Enjoy. I can only imagine the advertisers in this. Thanks D&P.
6 1/2 weeks
August 26th, 2010We want the billboards back. They were such a good morale booster for our salespeople.
After 6 1/2 weeks of primarily television (with two different offers), peppered with some radio and gratuitous small town (weekly) newspaper ads, the client wants his billboards back in the media mix. At our meeting today, we discussed this.
I was taught that the first person who talks after the question is asked loses. So I asked “Why?” and kept my big mouth shut.
“Our sales people are on commission and they’re used to seeing us on billboards. It helps us boost morale, and it shows we’re “out there” with our advertising.”
OK. What else? (Morale booster? Really? Buy ‘em lunch-it’d be cheaper.)
“Well, they haven’t seen our TV commercials. Sales are flat and it’s such a big change for them to not see our billboards.”
How are sales now compared to a year ago?
“About the same.”
It’s been 6 1/2 weeks since we were asked to place your media. If we could make a significant shift in that amount of time, given your product, budget and competitive set, we’d have the Budweiser account and I wouldn’t be sitting here fucking with you. (I didn’t really say that.)
“Well, maybe we didn’t explain it very well to them up front, about our shift to more television and no more billboards.”
Welcome to the mentality of small towns clients who allow their staff input in areas that are not remotely in their field of expertise, who think that their target audience is “everyone”, and who expect instantaneous results.
This is a small, regional cellular service. They can’t offer the iPhone. Their coverage area is spotty. They offer too many plans and have a history of changing their message with no consistency every 60 days. When their new Marketing Director was hired recently, she asked us to present a plan and their old agency to do the same. (The budget was reduced, and rightfully so. They were spending a fortune.) The old agency refuses to participate (WHY?), we present, we win the work, and the Big Cheese who wasn’t at the initial presentation-and should have been-comes back 6 1/2 weeks later and wonders where the billboards are. Huh?
Who is your customer? Why you and not one of the big cell carriers? Let’s secret shop your retail outlets and see just how good your “experts-at-everything” sales people really are. Let’s get the research you’ve commissioned (Thank God) in here to give a peek at what the regional market really thinks of you, and THEN plan accordingly.
It’s like you gave me one shoe, asked me to run the race and wondered why I didn’t win.
This is a LOT more than billboards. It’s a tangled mess of dysfunction. It’s gonna be interesting.
And you wonder why mommy drinks.
Making a call in Hooterville.
Why didn't I think of that! As Seen on TV
April 20th, 2009
The Obama Chia? WTF?
Check out the CNBC story! This is BIG money in our economic downturn. Think of all the production work-the logos, the layouts, the web sites, the videos – lemme at it! It’s not Peter Arnell work, but hey, it’s paying work and we’ll do a better job for a lot less than I’ll bet they’re paying!
As seen on TV products are all the rage-from Snuggies to Slapchops, these products are being ordered up faster than small town gossip (I love that line). The A to Z listing is pretty extensive. The upside down tomato planter…ingenious. Lucidal, the Cognitive Preformance Enhancer that eliminates Brain Fog….ad agencies across the country should be ordering Lucidal by the pallet load.
The Obama Chia…somebody get me one!
The Zippity Poo-Da was pretty clever, too.
But who can forget the grand master of As Seen On TV?
Lincoln's DNA will Tell All
May 1st, 2009Under the Category of “Find Something Else Useful to Do”…some scientist wants to examine President Lincoln’s blooded stained pillow…a little DNA testing will confirm if Abe had cancer. It might explain Abe’s lumpy lips and gastrointestinal problems. This is important to us because?
Lumpy Lips? Gas? No wonder he was depressed.
Two brothers and a wife
May 1st, 2009Two brothers run a successful homebuilding business that Dad started. They are linear thinkers. They want a new logo. We go through the dance of getting to know one another… the size-up…”do-we-feel-comfortable-with-this-bossy-woman-but-we-better-hire-her-or-someone-else-will”….and the “they-seem-cool-enough-to-get-it-but-will-it-be-too-much-of-a-pain-in-the-ass”. We show the first round. Green? Hmmm…we think you need to show us more color options. We come back, armed with Pantone books. They deliberate deeply, trying hard to articulate what they think because, they really don’t know and need to appear smart and capable of reasoned, solid decision making and then the wife comes in, surveys the work and with little pause, points to the very concept we had encouraged them on in the first place. Where was Peter Arnell when I needed him? This job would be a lot easier if people would just do what we tell ‘em.
Win a FREE Colonoscopy!
May 7th, 2009I drink too much, I swear too much, think too much and laugh too loud….hey, I blame it on the business. But one thing I do is take control of my health. So when CBS ran their smart, witty PSA about the Colonoscopy Sweepstakes, I was impressed with the cynical, funny approach about the very thing NO ONE wants to talk about.
I’ve interviewed several colon cancer survivors and they tell me how lucky they are to be alive…because they got screened. So I’ll let you know if I have colon cancer or not because tomorrow, the chick gets one. I better lose at least 5 pounds!
Tricky, but very legal.
August 20th, 2009Another great example of just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
You get to deal with him personally. ”We are able to get your add brought up when your customers are looking for your competitors site.”
Please… someone buy this fellow a dictionary.
Tricky, but very legal.
I. LOVE. IT.
A furniture store for ALL people.
May 1st, 2009NO…we did not produce this, but damn, I wish I had. What a great addition to anyone’s demo reel. (And from High Point, North Carolina, too…the Furniture Mecca….what were they thinking?)
(Thanks to my friend Kathy (the best chick announcer ever) for bringing this to our attention)
Small Town Tweeting
May 13th, 2009
Twitter has finally made it to Hooterville and the content is scintillating! Just listen!
…I really wish I hated Rod Stewart more.
…man, I just got a huge craving for Chicken McNuggets…where’d that come from?
….Why hello there weekend…we meet again…and I see you are wearing your stretchy pants…well played.
…me thinks its sleepy time.
…can’t tell if my dog just farted or burped…we’ll all know in moments.
…Yard is mowed and I’m ready to chill.
….Dude! Your grilling is the shit.
Even our noon Rotary is all Twittery about Twitter. Hey, it’s a new toy to play with when you likely should be WORKING! I’ll play along, when I can tear myself away from PAYING WORK, because I want to understand it. Josh Klein had some interesting thoughts on Twitter and I was flattered that The Ad Contrarian would not only follow my Tweets, but send me an email to thank me for following him. Hell, I’d pick up his dry cleaning.
But so far, Tweeting here in Tiny Town is mostly used for bullshit, as you can see. It’s hard to see a bigger picture when a keyboard gives you the power to be a legend in your own mind. Using it as email is incredibly stupid, as no one CARES if your dog farted or you hate Rod Stewart. These people must be lonely. There have been some worthy tweets that took me to an interesting article or video. Maybe if users were offering more viable and noteworthy information, I could find some redeeming value in it all. I believe Adscam feels the same way…not to mention there is no way (yet) it’s gonna make any money. Jane Sample has found a way for advertisers to use it….hmmm. But I agree…this could fast turn into spam/telemarketing.
Follow me at adchick22 and I’ll try to be worthy of your attention. (someone else took adchick…squatter)
What DOES it all mean?
May 15th, 2009This was passed along to me by a small town gal who has worked in the same place for 30 years….a bit of an anomaly to be sure. Oh wait, I’ve been in business for myself 27 years. Anyway, she asked: ”How does this affect the way we will offer our products, the way we market, the way we communicate with our customers or, in other words, all aspects of the business?” Life is change, my dear. We’ll adapt. No one knows that better than ad people. (My friend is a banker…go figure.) I don’t find the numbers scary, but rather exhilarating.
The Fungus Finder 4000
May 19th, 2009The Red House ad was better…or worse. It’s amazing that big agencies spend all that money when evidently this is all it takes.
Short and random
May 20th, 2009Todays word is from George Parker and defined for us by the Urban Dictionary: Douchebaguette: A female douchebag. A woman who exhibits characteristics of a douchebag. The female is noted for her giant sunglasses, fake tan, and penchant for designer items.
Previously I made a mature decision to have a colonoscopy. The results are in. No Cancer. This is good news…now, if you’re over 50 and haven’t done this yet, you’re an idiot.
I’m starting to lose friends…a faithful reader of AdChick, a witty, sarcastic, New York Transplant who loved Hooterville, dies last Saturday…out of the blue he goes, leaving the rest of us to be pissed, sad and confused. He was only 58 and I’m now wondering about all sorts of stuff.
Our summer intern started yesterday. Tall, eager, a little sassy. I like her. One the first things I gave her was a copy of The Ubiquitous Persuaders and The Ad Contrarians book. That’ll teach her.
Memorial Day is coming. I’ll be on a Harley Street Glide for 4 days, far away from keyboards and clients. That’ll teach me.
And speaking of God…
May 22nd, 2009I’m a big fan of NPR… beyond the drone of bailouts and politics, there’s always something interesting. Since I’m on a religious roll, I’m fascinated with their five part series Your Brain on God. The science of spirituality-very thought provoking, indeed.
Google up “Religious Advertising” and you get 153,000,000 hits…no surprise. It’s BIG business, this converting and saving. There’s no money to be made in just doing good. Organized religion evidently believes people can’t be good without their “help”. And in order to save us, they need lots of your money and your compliance as part of their group. There are sites like sermonspice.com and buyfromachristian.com to help the cause. There will be no end to this, of course, as history has shown religion to be such a powerful force that pious folks have killed, scammed, cheated, lied, stole, and committed every other sin in the name of their particular faith. Ironic, isn’t it?
Now, Google up “Religious Advertising Agencies” and you get 19, 300,00 hits.
I’ll bet some of them are hiring.
Britain's Got Talent Alright
May 21st, 2009I’m always fascinated by people high on organized religion.This poor lady, well..she really took a big drink of the Kool-Aid. Now maybe Simon has finally seen it all. (Via Unreasonable Faith)
The front page talks
May 21st, 2009My favorite commercials series, MAC and PC, interact with the rest of the front page on todays New York Times. Some might find it intrusive, but what advertising isn’t…This campaign is so smart and glib. And it’s placement is, too. Apple is just so damned good.
Time for a Ride
May 22nd, 2009How can I miss it if I don’t go away? We’re off for a 3 day ride…sunny skies, cold beers, and little burger joints, music blaring! Yes, we wear helmets…but no tattoos…not yet! :) How much can happen in Hooterville in 3 days, anyway?
See you Tuesday!
Stay Thirsty, My Friends
May 26th, 2009I love this. Drink this beer and you can be cool like me. OK…I just want his voice on my answering machine. Nice pipes. Maybe he really is the most interesting man in the world.
The Harley Brand
May 27th, 2009When we take our Harley trips, I finally relax. And I love to study other bikers. During our recent trip, we saw a little of everything humanity has to offer. Start with the annoying crotch rockets: youngsters with a death wish, all leathered up with full face helmets and likely, small dicks. Then, the folks on Gold Wings, usually a middle aged, overweight couple with matching jackets and helmets with their little microphones sticking out…they give you the big, cheery wave when you pass them. So Not Cool.
But then there’s the Harley people. They give you the subtle, hand-low-to-the-ground gesture of acknowledgement…no fucking wave. It would be So Uncool.
I’ve got the Harley people down into two basic groups: Tough guys and tough girls, tattoos and tramp stamps, adorned with flaming skull t-shirts and doo-rags. They’re likely welders and waitresses. The second type are suburbanites…likely secretaries and store managers… adopting the Harley persona for weekends only. Mom got a sitter, Dad shined the chrome, and out they come to mingle in their unscuffed boots and pressed T-shirts.
The Harley mystique has an amazing depth…it’s downright intoxicating. So many different people all wanting to own a piece of the brand promise: Be Rebellious. Independent. Dark. Cool. Renegade. The Experience. The ride of a Lifetime. Not only a superior piece of engineering, they back it all up with every piece of of clothing and accessory you can imagine. And the web site…well, go here. It sucks you right in. Smart as hell.
Harley reminds me so much of Apple’s brilliant marketing. If you want it, you’ll pay for it. Yeah, you could ride a Yamaha (own a PC).
But then you’d be a pussy.
If I have to explain it, you wouldn’t understand.
It’s true.
Taking care of the hair…down there.
May 28th, 2009“When there’s no underbrush, the tree looks taller.” Excuse me? My significant other is about as manly, masculine and manful as they come. He’s a hairy beast, a prime target for Gillette…and even he was speechless. Via AdFreak, where there’s always excellent stuff.
<a name=”7253993578″></a>
Small might just be the new big
June 3rd, 2009It must be nice at those big agencies, I think. To have teams of writers, planners, executives, designers, divisions, groups, juniors, seniors, vice-presidents, CFO’s, CEO’s, COO’s, principals and the like. But I think smaller shops have become increasingly popular in the era of the Big Dumb Agencies, as dear George Parker describes them. I have a few suspicions why:
1. Nimble. Because we don’t have a lot of people to get in the way of progress, we can turn on a dime for a client. They like that.
2. Loyal. Genuinely and to a fault. We need our precious clients to be successful, or else we’ll cease to exist. So we tend to act like we’re their partner. And really, we are.
3. Honest. Maybe too much at times. The rest of my team jokes about how “blunt” I can be with a client. Hey, if their hours suck, their staff is surly, the inventory dated, or the prices too high, someone needs to tell them…might as well be a “partner”. I care. (See Number 2.)
4. Efficient. Time is money. We’re small and don’t have the luxury of waxing poetic about a piece of creative for months. We study the issues and then work hard to sell something. Isn’t that what advertising is supposed to do, after all?
5. Hungry. We don’t eat till someone sells something. And we all know it, so we take nothing for granted.
6. Cost-conscious. Small agencies “feel the pain” of our small clients. We have to make money, but we don’t nickle and dime a client for every breath we take on their behalf.
7. Ego-less. Well, somewhat. If you think you’re the smartest one in the group, then you can’t work in a small shop. Arrogance just doesn’t work. Collaboration does.
There is no corner on creativity and problem solving. The layoffs are many in big agencies, and sadly, some iconic firms are closing their doors. All the while, here in Hooterville, we are busy, enjoying the creative process, raising our families in a sweet small town, designing, writing, producing and living. Sure, we endure the same client crap, just on a smaller scale. And true, we’re not creating the image for a big national brand where there is so much at stake, but I do believe we could have developed a better Pepsi Logo…and for a lot less money.
Really Dead on Facebook?
June 6th, 2009Because we live in an age where everyone can know everything about everyone in a matter of seconds, the human race sickens me more than ever. So what’s with the demented genius who posts a photo of a corpse on Facebook?
I need to quit reading the news….and get off Facebook.
A Spam Comeback?
June 9th, 2009I’m anxiously awaiting the new television commercials for America’s Favorite Meat in a Can, SPAM, done by BBDO in Minneapolis. (I think their web site must be under construction-they should call me.) While I wait to see the new culinary creative, I decided to do a little Spam Research.
According to the official Spam web site there are 13 varieties. Hormel introduces the sweet, spicy pink “meat” in 1937. Edward R. Murrow mentions Spam for Christmas dinner in 1942. In ’46, the Hormel girls make the scene. Spam with Cheese Chunks make an appearance in 1971, and in 1991, you can order official Spam merchandise from the catalog. You know it’s relevant when Spam gets a spot in the Smithsonian. There’s Spam with Bacon, Spam Lite, Spam Hot Dogs and Spam spreads and Hickory Smoked Spam. Spam Festivals, Spam Fan Clubs, and Spam Recipe Contests. (Take a deep breath here) You can buy Spam T-shirts, hats and magnets, Spam Salt & Pepper shakers, steins and shot glasses. A Spam joke book and thimble, too. There’s even a Broadway Show and Spam Music.
It seems that more than 5 billion cans have been produced since 1937. In America, roughly 3.8 cans of Spam are consumed every second each day – 228 cans per minute, 13,680 cans an hour. (Somebody check my blood pressure, my sodium level feels a little outta balance.)
Given these lofty numbers, BBDO better be showing us something pretty good.
Thanks to Brand Professionals for the heads up…can’t wait to see the reinvention.
I'm goin' to Carolina….
June 12th, 2009…no really, I am! It’s time to get the hell outta here, apply my fake tattoos, slip into a doo-rag and two wheel my way to North Carolina. Raleigh-Durham, anyone? Once I sell the agency (to some lucky guy or gal out there-are you the one?), perhaps I’ll find my second career there, learn to say “y’all” and wipe BBQ sauce from my chin.
Nah. See you next week!
“Say nice things about me…I’m gone.”
(That’s the very last line from the James Taylor Song-Love it!)
TV makes us stoopider
July 10th, 2009I love television. I’m a TVaholic. But the Idiot Box is living up to its name and reaching a new low. The newest crop of television fare is stunningly stupid. Check the good article in the Washington Times here. How about:
More to Love, billed as the first “dating show for the rest of us,” throwing open its doors to overweight contestants. Yes, let’s encourage fat girls that it’s OK to be unfit.
I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, celebrities live in jungle conditions with few comforts and have to earn human essentials. Like I care how a “celebrity” will do in the jungle without mascara. Illinois’ own Patti Blagoevich (Trailer Park Patti) did pretty well.
Wipeout, where twenty-four thrill-seekers will compete in the world’s largest extreme obstacle course designed to provide the most spills, face plants and wipeouts ever seen on television. Sounds like the Three Stooges, which I actually liked.
I Survived a Japanese Game Show. I’m still not sure what this is, but with contests called Big Chicken Butt Scramble and Clothes On Clothes Off, I think we get the idea.
Dating in the Dark , the new reality dating series will follow single men and women as they go through all the usual motions of dating without ever actually seeing each other. Uh, ok. Didn’t we do a version of that in high school?
Dance Your Ass Off, well, OK. At least the network is using it’s powers for good here.
Not to mention Flavor Flav and the Girls Next Door. I guess I really am old and out of touch. Or maybe I have a brain. Networks need to compete with quality programming…the money will follow. When will we stop dumbing down?
There’s nothing on!!!
No Southern Chicken
June 23rd, 2009I leave town for a weeks vacation and all kinds of crap happens. Letterman makes Palin mad, Iran takes another step closer to hell, and God knows all the Twittering I missed. It was another great Harley trip, 2500 miles in 6 1/2 days, a little extreme, but fun nonetheless. Dodged all the rain, too. Did a lot of thinking and a lot of not thinking. And no, my ass is NOT sore. His, however, is. HA!
I thought maybe the South might be a good place to relocate, but I don’t think I can live down there. There were two churches on every block, and the drawl made my skin crawl. They said stuff like:
If you wanna nuther bees-kit, you just let me know.
I don’t know what tyme zone we’re in. Carl, do you know what tyme zone this is?
You’re in a dry county, darlin’.
All our liquor stores close up at 7.
Yikes. I’m sure they’re all lovely people, but I think I better head west.
It’s a whole different world down there.
Need a light, Mr. President?
June 25th, 2009So what if President Obama sneaks a cigarette now and then? All the fuss and controversy his honest admission has raised is crap. You try being the leader of the free world and perfect at the same time. He totally deserves a moment of privacy and a puff. The guy’s under a lot of stress.
Tobacco’s been around for thousands of years. And it was probably good you. There were no greedy tobacco companies loading it up with poisonous chemicals. After a tough day chasing down buffalo, the spiritual and calming properties were well-deserved. Then there’s the romantic folklore:
One Huron legend tells how, long before the coming of the white man, there was a great famine over the land. All the tribes came together in a council and called the Great Spirit Manitou for help. In answer, a beautiful and naked girl descended from the clouds. Leaning on her palms, she sat on the ground before the people and announced that she was sent to bring food. This said she returned to the sky. Where her right palm had been, corn sprouted, and where her left palm had been, potatoes. But from where she sat tobacco appeared. AH HA! So that’s how it started!
And it seems we’ve been inhaling all kinds of stuff….not just dried leaves. A nod to James Leavey for the following: According to the Roman scholar, Pliny the Elder (23-70 AD) in `Naturalis Historiae’, the inhalation of smoke from burning hare’s fur was prescribed as an exportant, the smoke from burning goat’s horn used to diagnose epilepsy, and, for consumption, smoke inhaled (through a reed) of dried dung from an ox fed on grass.
The history of tobacco is pretty interesting. Read more about it here. And leave Barack alone. If he can’t have a Marlboro Light, maybe they can burn some rabbit fur for him to sniff…but then PETA would get pissed. You can’t please everybody. Why even try?
Got a light?
E-mails are forever
June 26th, 2009My old boss and mentor used to tell me: Write the letter, then tear it up. Same holds true for emails. How many times have you been so pissed you wrote the most vitriolic letter, put the stamp on the envelope (or had your finger on the Send button) and then thankfully came to your senses. That shit’ll come back to haunt you…every time.
The Governor of South Carolina is realizing this now. His behavior is certainly not surprising…politicians screw around all the time…on their wives AND their constituents. But what IS interesting is actually reading the content of correspondence between he and his Lady Love. Is NOTHING sacred?
Check it here at Gawker. Here’s a snippet of one of his many now-public emails written to his Argentina Sweetie :
You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details …
“Sexual details”? Are you kidding me? Dude, when you are the Governor, you say this shit, you don’t write it.
Why is this man smiling?
Oh yeah, advertising.
June 27th, 2009I’ve been so caught up in the interesting news du jour, I forgot I’m an AD chick, not a NEWS chick. So, how about this for small town clients? After years of good work, a seemingly solid relationship and positive results, the client calls me up and says, “We’re going in a different direction”. I say, “So you’re firing me?” “Well, we’re just going in a different direction.” Uh-Huh. The PR Bitch in a MUCH larger market must have a tongue piercing…but I digress. (Hey, I have SEEN her work – it sucks. Seriously average. Plus, we never got invited to compete with the new project and he let it go on for months, leaving us to wonder what the hell was up. Poorly handled, Mr. CEO)
So I move on. Clients do come and go. THEN, I get a Facebook Friend Request…from this guy. Are you serious?
Yeah, I’m bitter.
If I get one, can I keep the business?
Jackson's Suzuki Spot
June 28th, 2009So, in keeping with what I am supposed to be writing about, I looked for a connection to Michael Jackson and advertising….beyond the Pepsi stuff we all know about. (True Fans know every detail. I’m not a true fan, but respect his talent and the music.) But I had not seen this spot….the poor girl struggles to keep up with Michael’s moves.
Back to smoking for a minute
June 30th, 2009I love the Blog, Found in Moms Basement. If you’re in advertising you should go there and visit the humble beginnings of your industry. Since I wrote about Obama’s smoking habit, I found some interesting ads about cigarette brands I’ve never heard of and some enticing methods to lure you into lighting up! Check it out.
PS If California gets to tax marajuna, who’s the lucky agency that will get to do THAT campaign??
You Bet I Do!
Girl stuff
July 31st, 2009I’m a girl…chick, whatever. At 53, I think I’m still about 25. (That was a GREAT year!) But other women? Most are just plain mean. (I said, MOST) Bitchy. Backstabbing. Judgmental. Talk behind your back and smile to your face. Borrow money and never pay it back. I’ve been burned more often than not by women who were supposed to my friends. (Pam? Geri? Are you reading this?) Yeah, I have trust issues and they run deep…all the way back to mom.
But it’s the ladies who are the coveted target of virtually every ad message we create. We make all the decisions, rule the roost, and decide when our man is gonna have his PSA level checked. We’re the keeper of the poontang, the Queen of our household. If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. You get the idea.
There are several good sites/blogs I’ve discovered for, by and about my gender. I’m more of glorified tom-boy, not much of a girlie-girl, (and yes, I have a very tolerant boyfriend) so some of these sites hold little interest for me. (Like, why is the entire site pink, for God’s Sake.) There are a jillion sites out there touting their female-centered content, BUT…you have to understand your customer. (I don’t want to have a conversation with them, I just want to understand what they need to hear to get them to buy my clients stuff.) Some of these are pretty insightful with valuable content that helps understand the female gender, some are written by women about advertising and other stuff. There are too many to list, but here are a few. Don’t let the estrogen scare you.
Careful…she’s in a mood.
Make your own fireworks…WTF?
July 3rd, 2009At about.com, we have a lesson in how to make your very own, homemade firecrackers.
Firecrackers are extremely easy and inexpensive to make yourself. You may want to make your own firecrackers because you are interested in learning how to make simple fireworks or it may be you are unable to obtain fireworks where you live. Fortunately, the materials needed to make your own firecrackers are very common.
Homemade Firecracker Materials
* tape (e.g., transparent tape)
* toy gun caps (either the tape or the rings) or black powder
* fuse (you can make your own fuse)
* pin or needle
Firecrackers are extremely easy and inexpensive to make yourself. You may want to make your own firecrackers because you are interested in learning how to make simple fireworks or it may be you are unable to obtain fireworks where you live. Fortunately, the materials needed to make your own firecrackers are very common.
Homemade Firecracker Materials:
* tape (e.g., transparent tape) * toy gun caps (either the tape or the rings) or black powder
* fuse (you can make your own fuse) Oh, Goody! Somebody give me a shoestring.
* pin or needle
Who in their right mind would encourage THIS hobby? If you’re so broke that you can’t afford to purchase fireworks, you’re too stupid to fire them. Enough said. Budweiser and Bottle Rockets don’t mix.
Be safe out there, America.
My favorite jingle…and I hate jingles.
July 8th, 2009Oscar G. Mayer died yesterday. He was 95. He outlived a wife, married a second, and saw his company reach the billion dollar mark. That’s gotta be proof those hot dogs are good for you. And if you can’t sing along with this, then you don’t know much about advertising. I guess I WOULD want to have a conversation with this brand.
The PEN Story-Brilliant
July 11th, 2009A BIG Thank You to my camera dude and guru, Frank, for turning me on to this excellence in stop motion. Nice tune as well….(do you agree, Phillybikeboy?) I love awesome creative like this…it’s mesmerizing! And it worked because I went to the web site, found out more and damn, I may have to buy one.
How to have sex in a car-and other lessons.
July 16th, 2009There’s so much I want to know. Stuff like: How to kiss like Angelina Jolie. How to shotgun a beer. How to knit fingerless gloves. How to fight off a vampire. How to generate good karma. So much to learn, so little time. But now there’s a web site that tells me everything I need to know. www.howcast.com Developed by Google and You Tube veterans, the site was named on Time’s 50 Best Websites in 2008. With over 100,000 videos and counting, I sense endless entertainment and vast knowledge to be had, just a keystroke away. There was even a Howcast about choosing the right thong (almost 60,000 views). Wow. I wonder if they’ll have lessons in How not to be an arrogant ass, a wife beater, a liar or a douchenozzle?
The video “How to have sex in the car” has generated over a million views. If you have to watch a video to figure that out, then…
Check the New York Times article for the story about Howcast.
The Only Cool Thing Microsoft has done.
July 17th, 2009I’m not a Microsoft fan, but I use it anyway. I’m an Apple chick through and through…Apple products, advertising packaging… all sleek and wonderful. But, I loved this. Too bad Microsoft couldn’t be as cool as this effort.
A Big Thank you to my pal, Dean, who shared this with me. (Dean is a PC, ROI-centered, Web-Guru, and Wonderfully cranky, and awesome.)
Playing cards at the club…and other reasons why we don't get hired
July 18th, 2009Hiring an agency….no matter if it’s on Michigan Avenue or Main Street Hooterville, clients have their reasons. The Ad Contrarian has another excellent message inspired evidently by Seth Godin. Both are very good. And it got me to thinking about business on our level here in Teeny Town.
I don’t belong to a country club. We have TWO of them here in our 45,000 population town. Lot’s of OLD money here. LOTS of Good Old Boy stuff going on. We have several kitchen table ad shops. One describes herself as “The Walmart of Advertising”. (You can imagine the stuff they put out.) Then there’s the guy who used to run an Auto Glass business who decided to be an Ad Agency. He has a fair bit of clientele because he’s learned to “talk the talk and walk the walk” of the system. He sells below average work to his country club pals. It isn’t about strategy, quality, message or execution … it’s about who won at cards Tuesday night at the club. And that’s ok.
I have a wall in our reception area that “showcases” some of the work done by Auto Glass Guy and Walmart Girl. Prospective clients can look at our competitors work without ever having to step foot in their offices. I want them to see the difference.
I know I’m not a very good networker. I hate schmoozing with people I don’t respect or care for. Business After Hours…YUK. Chamber events? No thanks. I’ve really tried to be better at this game, but I just don’t have it in me. And, word travels fast in a small town: That “over-the-top” adchick….man, she’s tough…and bossy. Right. I am NO order taker. I ask them respectfully, if you know how to do this, then why are you here? Clients who work with us do so because we help ‘em sell their stuff and do it better than the Auto Glass Guy and the Walmart girl. We want to get the business because we are clearly the best in town. (That’s what a new client said.) Not because we pretended to be someone we’re not.
I don’t play that game. What else ya got?
Quote of the day
July 24th, 2009Thank you to wkozy for posting this….He (or she) must be a brand new blogger, but I definitely like the quote!
“To explain responsibility to advertising men is like trying to convince an eight-year-old that sexual intercourse is more fun than a chocolate ice cream cone.” –Howard Luck Gossage
Better? Nah.
Why Everything Sucks
July 25th, 2009While I’ve never been a big Craig Ferguson fan, I think he’s on to something here. We were just talking about how today, so many young, fresh outta college kids have that aura of entitlement about them. They don’t wanna work TOO hard. (Note I said many, not ALL, so don’t be sending me a bunch of email telling me YOU work hard and you’re 22…I know there are some of you out there. My intern is one.) They can’t understand why I would work more than 40 hours a week. My own daughter said “I see how hard you work at owning your own business…I don’t want that.” ”Like, you work on Saturday?” one bright young man asked me recently. One young lady said…”I work because I have to, not because I want to.” Love the honesty. But it amazes me. How attitudes change in a single generation.
Anyway, I thought this was funny. I AM getting old. :)
God will pay my bills
July 28th, 2009Got this in my email this morning….why didn’t I think of this before? God can help me get outta debt! ”Money is the root of all evil”. ”…a counselor will contact you with a no-obligation debt consultation based on Christian financial values.” Christian financial values? My morbid curiosity took me into the web site, and it almost didn’t let me out. ”No, wait! Would you like to engage in a Live Chat with one of our representatives?” ” Are you sure you want to leave our site?” The scamming, luring and hoodwinking takes all forms on the Internet. I wish they would stick to the Do Unto Others message.
Dear God, Please call Visa and wipe away my balance.
Quotes from Nellie Lee
July 30th, 2009I spent yesterday afternoon with my 94 year old grandmother. Sharp, sassy, stubborn and wonderful. This is a sampling of her comments. Oh, to be this awesome at that age.
“There are two sides to every pancake.”
“Obama would get it all done if he didn’t have to deal with all those other people.”
“I’m not stupid, you know.”
“I’d like to take some skin off that insurance company.”
“I’m just doing what the lawyer told me.”
“Don’t you say a thing you wouldn’t put in your mouth”. (Her reference to my accidental slip of the word “shit”)
“An abortion is between a woman, her God and her family. The government shouldn’t have a thing to say about it.”
Yogie Dogie
August 5th, 2009My sincere thanks to Designer Tim for bringing Yogie Dogie to my attention. I am now officially creeped out for the rest of the week. This chick isn’t about to pay a visit to THIS FARM! via everythingisterrible.
Sturgis Here I Come
August 6th, 2009
Seems like every biker has been there, but me. So adchick is now officially headed west to catch the tail end of the madness in South Dakota. Beyond the decadence of all that is this most famous of motorcycle rallys, there will be mountain driving, Mt. Rushmore, beer, the Badlands, beer, Deadwood, Devils Tower, beer, and no clients, keyboards or crap. Final vacation of the year, people. And vacation is important (especially when you’re self-employed!) Back in 10 days!
I remember when I posed for this shot…I was blond then. :)
Wall Drug Delivers
August 18th, 2009If you do any sort of creative work, you gotta get away from it. Our last big Harley vacation took us to South Dakota and Wyoming, where I emptied my cluttered mind. Yet, I still found myself noticing horrifically bad TV spots, a billboard promoting 24 Hour Toe Service (I am not making that up) and the oh-so-ubiquitous Wall Drug Billboards.
Every client, big and small, could take a lesson from Wall Drug. Wall Drug delivered on their cheesy ad promises (and they made a lot of them) via corny billboards. “5¢ Cup of Coffee” ”Homemade Pie” ”Free Coffee and Donut to Every Veteran” “Free Ice Water”. We had to stop. Plus, it was late and close to beer-thirty.
Wall Drug is a model of efficiency. They were serving up breakfast for hundreds of people in short order style. The staff was friendly, the place was clean, well displayed, and organized. Shopping to placate every person of every age, from expensive cowboy boots and purses to fudge, shot glasses, T-shirts, and garish souvenirs of every description. What an excellent advertising story. They have capitalized on their “brand”. They gave me a free bumper sticker, hoping I would put it on my car. Thousands of Wall Drug billboards and bumper stickers are all over the world. It’s Chic to be Cheesy!
Wall Drug opened during the Great Depression and have been growing ever since because they’re being who they say they are. Now if only my clients could deliver on the promises they ask me to make for them.
No, there is no such thing as a Jackalope. But you can buy one!
And George Parker, I took this pic just for you…figure you can use it in one of your Poisoned Dwarf Posts. My God, they’ll sell anything!
Entertainment Shopping?
September 3rd, 2009The chick loves to shop…sale racks, bargains, e-bay. All of it. I’ve had some success selling stuff on e-bay, too. (Like the time I put Japanese fishing floats up starting at $2.99. They sold for $2249. I am NOT Making that up.) But this on-line auction site is described as Entertainment Shopping….I don’t know.
Visit Swoopo, and it seems almost too good to be true. For every bid you make, you pay .60¢ and you can buy bids in advance in increments of 40, 60, up to 1000 bids. Take Oliver…in just 35 bids he got his Nikon Camera. Only $16.02. That’s a DEAL. Feels like a scam, but, you gotta stay with it to save the money…and you have pay to play.
Sounds like Illinois government.
swoopo.com
Creativity that inspires
August 19th, 2009Let’s forget about big greedy ad agencies, health care reform and the impact of social media on the short future of the newspaper industry for a moment. Be mesmerized now by something really refreshing. A big nod to SULLIESeverything for posting this. I was so blown away I had to share it. It’s worth your 8 1/2 minutes. (Who knew the Ukraine even had TV….just kidding.)
365 Black
August 25th, 2009Leave it to McDonalds. If I were black, I’d be offended. How are the first and third sentences related? I couldn’t find anywhere in this site where I could “win exciting once-in-a-lifetime” opportunities. And by the way, the only thing McDonalds has touched in my life is my cholesterol reading. That’s why I don’t eat that crap anymore.
“At McDonald’s®, we believe that African-American culture and achievement should be celebrated 365 days a year — not just during Black History Month. That’s the idea behind 365Black.com. It’s a place where you can learn more about education, employment, career advancement and entrepreneurship opportunities, and meet real people whose lives have been touched by McDonald’s. Plus, you can also have a chance to win exciting once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. So make sure you visit often — you just might get inspired.”
I’m NOT Lovin’ It.
Bacon Day is Tomorrow!
September 4th, 2009Who better to love bacon than the Chick! We’re surrounded by hog farms here in Hooterville, so Bacon is an appreciated staple. But the disconnect is in Santa Barbara, California where they plan to celebrate International Bacon Day on September 5th. They plan on serving the “usual brunchy fare” PLUS, (and I am NOT making this up) Bacon Popcorn, Bacon Vodka, Bacon Mints and Chocolate Dipped Bacon. Only in California. See ya Tuesday.
Note the logo featuring Obamaesque crispy strips.
Meat Candy? Really?
Coke "Creatures"
September 8th, 2009Times have really changed. From a zombie-like choir of ethnicities (You can still sing along, though, can’t you?) to freaky, furry robotic creatures. This is gonna make me choose to drink a Coke over a Pepsi because… (Pepsi’s new Logo is certainly not a reason.) I would LOVE to sit in on these creative sessions to hear how they determine the approach then sell the approach to the client (The Language of the Idea).
The People of Walmart
August 30th, 2009Bookmark this. Check it often. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be amazed. You’ll get a firsthand look at the folks we see here in Hooterville everyday. OK, maybe not QUITE this “interesting”, but it’s a look at humanity as it really is beyond your pristine office cubicle. These people vote, have children (shudder) and buy products. Please adjust your commercial message accordingly.
Veranda? I like Breakfast served there.
August 31st, 2009Oh, wait. You mean the FONT! Like in IKEA changing their catalog font from Futura to Veranda.
Ikea has been using their own customized version of Futura for 50 years. I guess they felt it was time for a change/update/new look. I understand how important the science of Fontology is, but I think after 50 years, a change might be in order. Reach out to the young ones who think Veranda is all that. ;)
Only the ad people/font folks will likely be aflutter about this…which is interesting Advertising IS change. Advertising MUST be about change. But, tell that to Vitaly Friedman.
“The former typeface definitely better reflected Ikea’s design philosophy, giving it a very special, unique flavor that actually fit the company’s style,” says Vitaly Friedman, editor in chief of the online Smashing Magazine, which is dedicated to Web design. “With Verdana being used all across the Web, Ikea’s image not only loses originality, but also credibility and the reputation that the company has built since the 1940s.”
Read all about it in Time Magazine here. And here in Business Week.
Damn people, please. We have pressing world issues.
Don't call my kid slow!
September 2nd, 2009Is it me or does this sign need some punctuation?
Track your sick neighbors
September 2nd, 2009Who in Hooterville has the Swine Flu? Now I can find out with a new iPhone app. Called Outbreaks Near Me, the free application gives the latest real-time disease outbreak information in your neighborhood. (I’m already imagining the commercial for this one!) ”If you spy an outbreak, be the first to report it using the app’s unique outbreak reporting feature. You will get credit as a disease detective and your find will be featured on the website.”
Can you report stupidity?
I thought Fred was acting a little strange. I’m telling.
via Gizmodo.
Never too much Bacon
September 11th, 2009Sorry, I couldn’t resist a couple of more Bacon references.
Now on my shopping list… Bacon Salt. Brilliant! And thanks to Jake for pointing me to the recipe for Bacon-flavored vodka. This will be my fall and winter project. There’s the petition on Facebook to Make National Pig Day an Official Holiday (March 1), encouraging me to write my congressman and get this signed into law.
Uh, OK.
The best pop culture blog on the planet has a Bacon tribute not to be missed here. Bacon Jam…yummy!
And last but not least, there’s Bacon Today, your on-line resource for all things Bacon.
A big thank you to Bacon Unwrapped for this link, hooking us up to everything that is ….wait for it….BACON.
And of course, the Ultimate Bacon.
Ah, youth
September 16th, 2009I had a farewell drink with my summer intern and her friend the other night. I listened to these two 22-year old beauties chatter away when I realize just how much I really do know…and how much they still have yet to learn.
They both talked…a lot. Coming from wealthier families, they haven’t had to earn anything…yet. And astoundingly, they admitted that. Check Jake’s Take and his post about the Sense of Entitlement young ones have. As parents we don’t do our kids any favors by helping them too much.
My intern, a tall, funny, goofy, wonderful girl reminded me so much of me at that age. Insecure and enthusiastic. The attention span of a gnat. I gave her a few good “pep talks”. “You talk too much-SHUT UP and LISTEN! Take notes. Be on time. In the real world, you’ll get fired for that. Don’t rush through the project. Let people come to you.” You get the idea.
I have a daughter-an only child-and we’re not close. (If I say left, she’ll go right. Other moms of daughters tell me how common this is, yet it still breaks my heart.) But this intern of mine, we developed a special bond over the summer. She respected me, listened to me (when she wasn’t talking!) and I loved having her, even if I did want to pull my hair out a couple of times. She left my office knowing more than when she started. What she does with it now is up to her.
They say advertising is a business for the young. Fresh ideas, new perspective and all that. Maybe. But I take solace in my years of mistakes they have yet to make, mistakes that give you the wisdom and confidence to make a better choice and to trust your instincts.
That’s called experience.
Baby, the stuff you’ll learn!
Jesus would use spehl-chek.
September 14th, 2009We all get some interesting people who follow us on Twitter. Joe Romero, biblepusher1, should know better than to follow me, given my annoyance with ignorance (not to mention the chaos and hurt organized religion causes in our society…but I digress). The “On-line evangelist” is trolling Twitter looking for souls to save. His web site here is downright sinful. Riddled with misspelled words and lousy sentence structure, I’m pretty sure Jesus would appreciate it if he’d get a dictionary.
Monthly support (contributions) is greatly appreciated. If you send him a check, he’ll be able to get a Thesaurus, too.
The havest is great. What a wonderful example.
We're #37
September 15th, 2009Thank you to Miss Cellania at yesbutnobutyes for directing our attention to this. It has cooled my fire about the “We’re right and you’re wrong” attitudes in our country by reminding me we’re free to actually make and post songs like this. So, for that, I’m happy to be living in good old #37.
Now, can’t we all please TRY to reason together? I didn’t think so.
Threats to the Chick-YIKES!
September 16th, 2009Wow. My post about the People of Walmart struck a nerve:
You are a classist fuck for promoting this hatred toward the poor and uneducated in this country. I can assure you of this, you would not thisnk this was funny if it were you or you close family. If I could find you I would beat you like the facist bitsh that you are. Oly cruel classist pigs think this shit is funny. Fuck YOU
I rest my case.
The Mad Men Summary
September 18th, 2009I’m one the few people in the world who has not seen Mad Men. I’d blame it on small town living, but we do get cable here. No problem though, because after this, I think I’m caught up now.
Thanks to Addict for this.
In the can
September 19th, 2009A Big Thank You to Frank my Camera Guru for this wonderful introduction to a product I would never have tried, but probably will now. (Why won’t our clients give us this latitude?) Have a great weekend!
The dirty trick
September 22nd, 2009When this commercial came on, we looked at each other and almost at the same time, said: “I don’t like that ad.” There’s a series of them now, using children to make their point that being naive can cost you. They’re positioning themselves as the good bank, but the disgust I feel for the banker in the spot is so strong, it transcends to the advertiser. I was uncomfortable and associated that feeling with the bank. I couldn’t even remember their name for awhile after I had seen the spot. Maybe it’s my general disdain for the banking industry. Maybe it’s just me.
Obama and his Newspaper
September 24th, 2009So the Toronto Blade tells me: Newspaper journalism gets words of praise… Print media’s role vital
Mr. Obama said he noted the trend. “I am concerned that if the direction of the news is all blogosphere, all opinions, with no serious fact-checking, no serious attempts to put stories in context, that what you will end up getting is people shouting at each other across the void but not a lot of mutual understanding,” the President said.
“What I hope is that people start understanding if you’re getting your newspaper over the Internet, that’s not free and there’s got to be a way to find a business model that supports that.”
Since I’m not a white male, wealthy beyond words, a fundamentalist Christian, or freaked out I might lose my guns, I’ve pretty much been behind Barack Obama every step of the way. But now, I take issue with his misplaced concern. News and information is not determined by the method in which its delivered. These times are achangin’, Mr. President, and Internet is here to stay. Read this from Stephen Hodson…he says: Just as there is suppose to be a separation between church and state there also needs to be a separation between government and journalism. Well, DUH! If you think Fox News or CNN have serious fact-checking and no opinions, if you think people are not already shouting at each other, then please…what planet are you living on? You can’t fix everything. Especially in an industry that tends to eat its young, that’s archaic, lacks innovation, and doesn’t do a thing to accommodate its customers. Objective, fact-based journalism died with Cronkite. And the delivery of information is changing at lightning speed. You, sir, have far more important things to worry about.
Now, go fix healthcare … oh, and the Middle East. Good Luck with that one.
Where have all the (good) bloggers gone?
October 1st, 2009And if they’re gone, why are they still on your blogroll? Often, bloggers listed on other sites haven’t posted a thing for over a year. Maybe these people got bored, fired, tired of posting on a consistent basis, or just felt they had nothing left to say. So, clean up your blogrolls! Get rid of the ones no longer active and find new ones to share.
Good or bad, it’s a good to hear what others have to say, how they think, a peek into a different approach. (The ones I list on my site may not always return the gesture, and that’s fine…I list them on mine because they’re interesting) But, these guys….where’d ya go?? and WHY!?
agencytart.wordpress.com (God, I miss this one. I’d like to buy her a drink.)
whitehouseofficeofcreativeaffairs.wordpress.com
Scamp (Found this too late to get into this one)
Dear Jane Sample (she’s really done…but I’d like to buy her a drink, too)
And last but certainly not least, Adcontrarian.com He’s due back October 1 after a month long hiatus. The honesty and attitude I get here is always first rate.
I don’t see George retiring anytime soon. He better not…he’s the bee in the bonnet of the BDA’s!
Celebrate the Exclamation Point!
September 25th, 2009Why didn’t someone tell me? It’s National Punctuation Day! Given my extreme use of the God-Given, All-Sacred Exclamation Point, I’m really surprised I didn’t know about this. Visit the site here where you’ll learn more than you ever wanted to know about the little devices that give our language meaning and clarity. (Be sure to check their special meat loaf recipe … seriously.) They provide instruction on how to properly celebrate:
- Sleep late.
- Take a long shower or bath.
- Go out for coffee and a bagel (or two).
- Read a newspaper and circle all of the punctuation errors you find (or think you find, but aren’t sure) with a red pen.
- Take a leisurely stroll, paying close attention to store signs with incorrectly punctuated words.
- Stop in those stores to correct the owners.
- If the owners are not there, leave notes.
- Visit a bookstore and purchase a copy of Strunk & White’s The Elements of Style.
- Look up all the words you circled.
- Congratulate yourself on becoming a better written communicator.
- Go home.
- Sit down.
- Write an error-free letter to a friend.
- Take a nap. It has been a long day.
The only thing it DIDN’T say was open a nice bottle of Frogs Leap. Anyhoo, you can buy T-shirts, posters and mugs with witty little sayings like Jesus and the Twelve Apostrophes, and A Semicolon is not a Surgical Procedure. I.LOVE. IT.
Call me a geek, but I think correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar is what separates us from well, perhaps, The People of Walmart?
I want this for my birthday!
September 29th, 2009Somebody get me a gift certificate to this place. I love BBQ! And to have my feet rubbed in the sauce, well…This reminds me of the Red House! A serious thank you to Big Dog Eat Child for this, however, couldn’t you guys come up with a different name…it’s kinda creepy. On the other hand, you guys need to be hired by some of the ad agencys out there who only THINK they know how to get their commercials viewed.
Small town sightings
September 30th, 2009No, seriously. I drove past this sign. I took this photo.
Then I honked.
Twitter a Tune…or 2000
October 2nd, 2009You have nothing else to do, so do this. Courtesy of mashable (and managed by a fellow named Gabriel Nijmeh who must truly be dedicated.) A spreadsheet of over 2000 musicians who TWEET! I couldn’t stay awake long enough to see if Steven Tyler is Twitter-er. But there was some musician who calls himself Totally Michael. (Ugh. My ex-husbands’s name was Michael-nothing musical about him.) I also learned that Christina Aguilera’s Twitter account has been suspended. What did SHE do?
Others on this list whose names amuse me: Orgy of Noise, La Snacks, Pop Tarts Suck Toasted, The Dead Girls, The Dead Cocks (these last two should do a concert together) cassettes wont listen, You, Me and Iowa, (seriously), and maybe my favorite: Sex with no Hands, described as an accordion funk band from San Francisco.
And if Tweeting titillates you, connect with others via the Mega List of Tweeters found here.
Finally, read what George Parker thinks about Twitter here. I love that crusty old sweetheart!
Tweet away.
Cry me a river, you faker
October 5th, 2009Doesn’t matter what side of the fence you’re on, the audacity of Glenn Beck is assisted with props, apparently. And I was just starting to think this guy was sincere. See, you can’t believe ANYTHING you see on TV.
Mad, Sad, Happy Men
October 8th, 2009If it were only this easy. You gotta love Sesame Street for staying current. When Mr. Draper uses the word sycophant at the end, do you think the Sesame Streeters will get that?
Truth in Advertising
October 13th, 2009Thanks to a commenter from The Ad Contrarian’s blog for sharing this little gem.
A Billion Served. And What's Tinker?
October 9th, 2009That’s a pretty heady number…a BILLION. It’s hard to imagine that many people visiting You Tube. A DAY! So says many news releases, including this one from Tech Crunch. Its an unfathomable number, a Billion. But then, You Tube is a tremendous resource, and like anything else, you separate the good from the 13 year old video crap.
And then there’s Tinker. A new service that helps you stay on top of your favorite events by showing you the latest buzz from Twitter. Pretty soon we’re going to know so much (or think we do) about people we’ve never met, forming opinions about their character, intentions and behaviors, that we’ll decide we don’t like someone we’ve never even laid eyes on. Maybe we shouldn’t know so much.
1,000,000,000 Every Day. A lot of You-Tubing.
Another way to keep tabs on the world whirring around you.
Who's our customer? Uh…..
October 10th, 2009We got called back to talk to a potential client. Last time we met was in May. I knew they were talking to other agencies….no problem. (Anything they can do we can do better.) They finally decided we were the best choice to do the creative. Cool. When I asked my usual litany of questions, the most important one they did not know.
“Who’s the customer?”
“We don’t really know…we’re hoping you can tell us.”
I shit you not. I do not get paid enough to answer questions like this.
I’d sell you something, but I don’t know who you are.
A word about your Demo, Portfolio, or Reel
October 21st, 2009We hire voice talent from all over the country to voice video projects. We listen to a demo, and it’s amazing. We hire them and get the product back, and it’s like listening to their dumb Uncle Buck.
Same with new designers. We look at their book, and it’s pretty cool. Within a week, the stuff they’re cranking out isn’t as good as the last college intern we had.
If you want to stay employed in this business, be good ALL the time. Don’t slop through the project -even if it only pays you $100. I think $100 for sitting down in front of a microphone for 15 minutes (or less) is a nice bit of change. Exceed the expectation, because its one thing to get hired. It’s another thing to stay employed.
Ok. I’m done now.
Whatever you got in there, can you do it again?
Local Commercials
October 14th, 2009Thank you adfreak, who found this. The makers of the RED HOUSE furniture spot which I posted back in May, have done a commercial for a music store in Souix City Iowa. ILoveLocalCommercials.com. Very nice, although WE make local/regional commercials and none have ever been as good as this one.
We must try harder.
They Said, I Thought
October 14th, 2009It’s really a wonder we have any clients left. The guys I work with just shake their heads. The older I get, the more impatient I become with clients. When I decide to waitress, I hope I can keep my mouth shut.
Our in-house designer? Oh, she can do that.
If she could, then you wouldn’t be here…give it up.
We don’t know who the customer is, we’re hoping you can tell us.
If you don’t know, then I KNOW I don’t.
My wife is really artistic…these are some of her logo ideas.
Then you should hire her.
We did these ads.
Your children are ugly, oops, I mean these ads suck.
And I really have said this: ”With all due respect, what you are currently doing obviously isn’t working, or you wouldn’t be in my office.”
Welcome to small town advertising.
Huh?
October 19th, 2009From the “people never cease to amaze me” category.
We use cows for caddys here in Hooterville.
Twitter after Sex?
October 20th, 2009This article in the Chicago Tribune really intrigued me. I mean, gimme a break. Twitter after Sex is quite popular with the little ones 35 and under. Kids.
In my day, we used to smoke.
And for a bit more valuable insight, you can read this from Time Magazine.
Singing to your fruit
October 21st, 2009If they tried anything like this in our local grocery stores, somebody would get arrested. I mean, Hooterville likes the Sound of Music on a stage, not in the produce department.
Theater people. Sheesh.
Bored at home
October 24th, 2009Sick today. Stayed home. (No, it’s not the Swine Flu.) Daytime TV is pretty weak. (I watched the last half of Jeopardy and the last half of the Beverly Hillbillys. Grannie was dancing and Jethro was a big time movie die-rector. Oh my God.) Random roaming on the internet is far more entertaining. I found this:
I want one for every bathroom in the house.
Courtesy of audio cubes.
Time for a nap.
Insanely Great…Trust me.
October 24th, 2009Three new Mac/PC commercials are out and as usual, they do not disappoint. I just think it’s brilliant work. This one is my favorite. See them all here-thanks ad gabber!
Etch-a-Sketch Art
October 27th, 2009There’s no recession in Hooterville. Today has been a blur. We’ve got one client with the Swine Flu, and one who thinks he’s going to get a full blow presentation of spec work by Thursday. THINK AGAIN. So I got out my Etch-A-Sketch (had one as a kid, and have one at work) to pass some time in thought…then I found this. Whoever did this has nothing to do…or was on a conference call with that ONE client…yawn. (via GadgetHIM)
Follow the money
November 3rd, 2009I love the surprise/interesting/unexpected ending. Here, money travels and ends up in a happy place. Found at great ads.
Please note that this sort of thing is not tolerated in Hooterville. That’s why I want to move.
Turning on a dime
October 28th, 2009When you’re a small agency, you can do that. Turn on a dime. You can jump through a hoop and make it happen without inter-office bullshit, egos, protocols or hierarchy. So today when a client called and needed to change his commercial to push bananas at 39¢ a pound, we stopped everything else and did it. In less than 3 hours, revision uploaded to the FTP. Boom. Done. I work with such cool people.
Dime turning.
It’s what we do.
It feels good.
How they get here
October 30th, 2009What were these people looking for when they searched for:
marajuana
god exclamation point
“make my dick hard” shirt
and then they end up on my blog? I hope they weren’t disappointed….especially the shirt.
Oh, Harvey…you're being harsh.
November 12th, 2009If we study vintage ads like this, we can get an idea of how we treated each other back then, the roles we played and the priorities we had. Thankfully, times change. And he didn’t even kiss her good-bye. Bastard.
A parting gift
November 4th, 2009Our Intern this summer…she was a walking, always talking, nervous, sound effects machine. But we loved her. When I finally kicked her outta the nest, she presented me with a gift that keeps on giving. That girl has a bright future. Check it out:
Don’t make me use my stamper!
Careful there, you're not the client
November 6th, 2009He called, wanted a meeting immediately, then bulldozed his way into our office. He insisted something needed to be done and right away. He was losing money. No, he wasn’t the final decision maker, but he was a damned important strategic partner and they would listen to him. He liked a spot we did for the sister company. He hated the current marketing director of the company. She was slow, unresponsive to his requests and should be be put back into the secretarial pool or fired. He’ll put his own money in to straighten things up, by God. He’d get us a meeting with the powers that be. And on the way out he said, you might “wear a low cut top” next time we meet.
We were certainly intrigued by this prospect. What if “this” and what if “that” began to float around. It could be a nice piece of business, but I resisted the urge to do any spec work-it didn’t feel right. (It wasn’t the low cut top comment, trust me.)
Anyway, good thing we didn’t spend a lot of time prepping a pitch. After raising every kind of hell, this important “strategic partner” was told flat out by the real decision makers this was none of his concern. Yes, they loved what adchicks team did for their sister company, but they are quite satisfied with their current mediocrity.
The moral of this story: Never count your chickens before they’re hatched.
That’s one…
People of Public Transport
November 11th, 2009In Hooterville, we have a city bus system. I road it once when my daughter was a little girl…she asked so I took her for a ride around our fair city. I’ll have to do it again to see if I can find anything this interesting. In response to People of Walmart, now we have People of Public Transport. It’s America at its finest. These people buy things, so remember to craft your advertising message accordingly.
via funnyassblog.
Mac hits the front page…again.
November 13th, 2009Forgive me as I gush about the cleverness. It’s sickening, I know, but they’ve done it again. Another excellent use of cyber front page by Apple.
Making a buck the creative way!
November 15th, 2009The creative ingenuity of people never ceases to amaze me. People are finding all sorts of unique ways to make a buck. Like Jason, the guy who Twitters shitmydadsays. I’m quite sure he NEVER thought it would end up in CBS looking at his Twitter Account as the making of a possible Television Show. Then there’s Iwearyourshirt.com Jason, the shirtwearer, says: “In this up and down economy I’m outsourcing my wardrobe (namely shirts) to corporate america and you! I’m going to wear a different shirt for 365 days straight in 2009, take multiple pictures throughout my day and blog about it. Days are sold at “face value” so January 1 is $1 and December 31 is $365.” And, its coast to coast. “Two times the exposure to 2 separate audiences in 2 separate time zones”. Jason in Florida and his pal Evan in LA! Business is booming too, because Jason is SOLD OUT thru July of 2010. Good for them.
Then there’s Ireadyourbooks.com.Judi says: “As a single parent struggling with the ups and downs of the economy, I have decided to use my free time to read your books. I am going to read one book a week for 2010. That’s books 500 pages or less. IF your book is over 500 pages, I suggest buying 2 weeks back to back. I will read, take pictures, blog daily and use Youtube along with other marketing resources to increase interest in your book.” Bless her heart. She’s promoting reading!
These people are being quite inventive, capitalizing on the moment, the trends, using their resources and making a living. I like it.
But Judi, use a different photo…this one isn’t “Literary” enough.
There's a Month for That!
November 18th, 2009I had no idea there was so much to celebrate. Can you imagine being the lucky agency chosen to develop the PR and marketing strategy for something obscure as, say, Straw Hat Month or Pleasure Your Mate Month? See (what I am assuming is) a complete list here. I’m highlighting my favorites…and I am NOT making any of this up.
January: It’s OK to be Different Month, Love Yourself Month, Prune Breakfast Month, Polka Month
February: Body Awareness Month, Natl. Pet Dental Health Awareness Month, Termite Awareness Month
March: Humorists Are Artists Month, On-Hold Month, Umbrella Month
April: Natl Frog Month, National Welding Month, Straw Hat Month, National Soft Pretzel Month, Alcohol Awareness Month (YAY!)
May: Revise Your Work Schedule Month, Smile Month, Vinegar Month, Ultraviolet Awareness Month
June: Accordion Awareness Month, Natl Pharmacists Declare War on Alcoholism, Natl Celibacy Awareness Month, Potty Training Awareness Month, Rebuild Your Life Month
July: Smart Irrigation Month, Share a Sunset with Your Lover Month, Horseradish Month
August: Natl Inventors’ Month, Neurosurgery Outreach Month, Panini Month, What Will Be Your Legacy Month
September: Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month, Pleasure Your Mate Month, Shameless Promotion Month
October: Dyslexia Awareness Month, Month of Free Thought, Squirrel Awareness Month, Raptor Month
November: Inspirational Role Models Month (Thanks George!), Georgia Pecan Month, Pet Cancer Awareness Month
December: Tie Month, Bingo’s Birthday Month, Write a Business Plan Month
It’s FEAR MY VAGINA MONTH! YAY!
Men in Film
November 19th, 2009This has nothing to do with advertising, but it’s an awesome edit. I was captivated by it, even though it felt a tad creepy here and there. And, I recognized every single one of them another indication of just how old I must really be. Thanks to my friend Joe for sharing this…you’ll love it.
Advertising Promises
November 23rd, 2009In the factory we make cosmetics; in the drugstore we sell hope. Charles Revson
In advertising we’re hired to make promises. To fill a void in people lives. If you buy XYZ, you’ll be smarter/faster/envied/ thinner/ better/ happier/prettier/whatever. And so it goes with the ads we see for Thanksgiving…happy families together, sitting at a beautifully decorated table, the perfect turkey. LOOK! Buy THIS Turkey and your family/life/house will be just like this.
The reality is: You’re with your clan, most of whom have traded their booze and brains for a bible and Glenn Beck. A mother who fills every space with incessant chatter, Uncle “Pull my Finger” Paul, neurotic Aunt Opal, Grandmother who can’t hear and host of cousins who wear too much flannel. (You start frantically searching for the adoption papers because you’re certain these are not your people.) UGH.
I’ve always wondered what would happen if a company got REAL with its message for once and said what most of us are thinking. Maybe Southwest Airlines could offer the DFD: a Dysfunctional Family Discount. Wanna getaway? YES!
But advertising is about hope, isn’t it? Maybe this year will be different. So if you’re fortunate enough to celebrate the holiday with a family who is least tolerable, then enjoy your feast and count your blessings. And the turkey? Here’s how to ensure a perfect result:
Beware the Twitterers
November 29th, 2009Twitter brings all sorts of people out of the woodwork. Porn vendors, loan sharks, scam artists. Too “Social” media, really. The lack of face-to-face contact gives people the courage to share all sorts of stuff. Like this person in a nearby state who sent out a Tweet. I went to their blog and read this:
“the voices in my head are quiet now and rarly if ever keep me up. but i know there will be a time when i will lose this controll i have now and be on auto pilot again. it is scarry and thats why i dont leave my house alone any more. i dont know when or even where i will wake up. the everpresent specter of have my life stolen again by the auto pilot is enough to keep me here in my home.”
I doubt this person would say this on a radio or TV station or print it in the newspaper. I do feel sad for this person, but am planing my relocation very soon. YIKES.
Makin' creative
January 11th, 2010We were a company of 12 at one time, and now we’re down to three, along with a team of brilliant freelancers who are at the ready. This is by my design. But every Monday morning, I look around and wonder …where’d I put that creative, anyway?
Big agencies have big teams to develop big ideas for big clients. But it’s all relative. Our small clients have much at stake: keep the doors open, sell stuff, make payroll, stay in business…just like “big” clients. And, they expect us to deliver a solid message that brings warm bodies through the door. Maybe our role is even more vital since these small companies depend on repeat, long term customers. They battle Super-WalMart and other Big Box Stores daily. Small businesses look for their niche and a way to survive. They look to us to make their message meaningful and effective.
Example: I have a mom and pop furniture store who is open only one night a week, closed on Wednesday and Sunday, (yeah, I said closed Wednesday) and open only 8am-5pm the other days. Yet, in spite of the way they force customers to conform to the way they do business, and with all the Big Box competition they have, they’ re still the ones to beat. I must be a genius.
When you’re as small as we are, time is the valuable commodity. There’s not a lot of time to bounce ideas, experiment a little, write, re-write and re-write again…not a lot of time to savor the process of making the work. While I get bored and frustrated with that one (long-time) client who wants the same “show and tell” TV, it works.
I got into the business over 27 years ago because of the creative process. I love being a real part of video projects, touching the many different aspects of making the work. But the “give and take”, “lets try this and if it doesn’t work lets try something else” days are long gone. In order to survive, we must churn out “new and different” as best we can because even in a small town, clients expect your best effort.
We’re open, but not on Wednesday or Sunday.
Only in Hooterville.
Designer versus Client
December 3rd, 2009The timing on this is perfect because I’ve been fighting this battle with the cretins…I mean clients…for the the last two weeks. Like the new client (a very nice one, though) who brought me some logo ideas for his his new place, saying “you know, my wife has a good eye and is very creative.” ARRGHH! I love it when he says “Are you going to do it in Microsoft Word?” HA! A big thank you to Robb for sharing this…it’s spot on.
A great gift idea
December 10th, 2009Truly a must have for everyone on your Christmas list…including your unborn children. I love “internetainment”.
Tis the season to be cynical
December 22nd, 2009Have we ALWAYS been this way?
One definition of cynicism I found was this: Cynicism was an ancient Greek philosophy, primarily concerned with virtue, whose followers were known as “The Dog Philosophers.” They believed that virtue was the only necessity for happiness and that it was wholly sufficient for attaining happiness.
Not exactly the way I would have described it. Today, nothing is sacred and everything is fair game. We’ll make fun of any thing, any one, at any time. With tongue stuck in cheek, we cleverly belittle, dress down, and criticize every chance we get. After awhile, it gets old, creates animosity, ill feelings, causing family’s to squabble and friendships to fray. All this cynicism breeds distrust and soon, nobody likes anybody and we’re all so busy trying to be right, none of us are. Then, the Jesus Folks are so busy dishing out guilt and shame, we forget about common decency. Can’t we all just get along?
But enough about the advertising business. My cynical spot truly enjoyed this:
A Kosher Prostate
December 11th, 2009Nothing says you love your man quite like a Prostate Exam. Or as my 70+ rural step-father says: PROSTRATE. Oy. Happy Hanukah!
Elin Woods gets a Decent Proposal
December 12th, 2009I haven’t stepped in to the Tiger Woods fiasco because a) It’s none of my business and b) I don’t care. But I have to applaud the chutzpah of one Kyle Verhovshek from Missoula, Montana who left this comment on NPR’s web site after the story broke about the world’s most famous golfer taking an indefinite leave from golf (to work on being a better husband, father and person….Uh-Huh.) Folf? Really? In case the you cant read the type:
Elin, if you happen to be perusing NPR… know that there is a man out there in Montana who will love you no matter what. Lose the zero, get with the hero. I’m more into folf than golf and will raise Tiger’s children as my own.
Sincerely,
Kyle
P.S. I’m poor, but you’re not… so everything will work out.
A Year Later
December 27th, 2009This blog is one year old today.
164 posts. 13, 844 views. Connections made to people I’ve never met. Some I’d like to meet, some too frightening.
I’ve vented, observed, shared, learned, whined, been humbled, gained experience, found, lost, laughed, gotten confused, cried, gained perspective, cut-and-pasted, contributed, and a helluva lot more. It’s really been for me, but if you been here, then you’ve gotten a peek into a world waaaaaay far away from the Big Agency World. Very different, but in many ways, very much the same. We fight the same client issues, develop work along the same methods, struggle with the same creative blocks, and enjoy the same streaks of inspiration.
In Hooterville, (as I affectionately call it) we know our audience and write and produce to reach them. Not so different, really.
Thanks for visiting the other side.
The Best of You Tube
December 24th, 2009Everyone’s been talking about lists, summarys, the best of the decade, blah, blah. I like this clip, though. It’s kind of disturbing to me that I’ve seen most of these videos…I need to get out more. (via) If This is a Blog then What’s Christmas.
Jesus is Everywhere!
December 23rd, 2009I’m so amazed at people who have lost their senses, left ethical behavior behind and skewed their priorities because organized religion slithered into their being. Somewhere, deep inside the human psyche, we must have this innate desire for a higher power. Fine. But history proves that religion has missed its intended mark, if it had any to begin with. Millions have been murdered, raped, imprisoned because they didn’t believe their oppressors particular God. Organized religion preys on addicted personalities, reaching deep into their bank accounts in return for unseen salvation. The “Bible in the Backseat” crowd swaggers, looking down their noses at the rest of us who are bemused by their arrogance. It’s about power, control and money, not about ethical behavior, honesty, and caring for your fellow human. And now, Jesus is everywhere…from tree bark to toast to TV screens. Check it. (via The Browser. Thanks D)
New favorite quote: “God isn’t the problem…it’s her fan club.”
Got that B Roll!
January 8th, 2010The snow was intense overnight in Hooterville. Had to shovel my way out of the drive only to get to my high rise office overlooking the river and find no email and no elevator. Snow boots on and off, coat, gloves, drive slow, ugh! There’s been no time to think about anything but client stuff. And thankfully, there’s plenty to think about. So while I hate to be such a “cut and paster”, this was too priceless not to pass along. (via Renegade Agency Confessional!)
After this, I'll stop…promise.
December 29th, 2009I really don’t give a damn about the Tiger Woods fiasco, but, over the holidays, the kids played this for us. Now I can’t get it out of my head. I sing it to myself on the way to work.
End of Year Bitch Chores
December 31st, 2009You big agency guys have it made. You have “people”. Here in Hooterville, the end of every month is chaos, but the end of the year is nerve-wracking. We do our own bitch chores. Aside from the client billing that must go out (or no one gets paid), there’s the mind-numbing data to assemble for the bookkeeper and the accountant so they can determine if we’ve made $5.67 more than we did last year. My eyes glaze over in this endeavor and I struggle to focus.
Then there’s the paperwork from ’09 to file away and keep safe in a bunker somewhere, in case a client might have a question like, “I thought we bought drive time in April last year”. I open notices from the landlord and insurance assholes who explain why they are raising our rates. Decisions need to be made about a new copier and a new video camera (yes, we’re going high def here in Hooterville.) To add to it all, my compulsive nature takes cleaning and purging to a whole new level. Offices are scoured, trips to the dumpster are made, and our office refrigerator is looking pretty nasty. Ditto the toaster oven. (Who put left over pizza in there and forgot about it???)
But, the phone’s been ringing and the January calendar is filling up. The new year looks promising for this small town agency. And for this, we are truly grateful.
Happy New Year… to you and your “people”.
Starting the New Year Right
January 6th, 2010You can’t tell me that big agencies don’t deal with the same idiocy we deal with here. (We just wipe Pork Rind crumbs off the conference table.)Welcome to Day Three of the New Year at a little agency in the middle of nowhere but at the center of everything.
Email: How’s the web site coming? Well, we haven’t heard from you since mid-November. We need your product information and most importantly, APPROVAL on the revised proposal we sent.
We need to reshoot the open. My wife thinks my shirt makes me look like a porn star. (It doesn’t) but what’s wrong with that?
I know you handle our advertising but we let a company who specializes in web design do our new site. Uh, OK. But they’re using the wrong logo.
We suggested adding a campaign oriented domain name to further drive their message… a natural move. Their marketing director said: Oh, No. We cant change the domain name. I’ve already placed all the yellow pages. What part of this does she not understand?
Acct Rep: They paid one of the invoices but not the other. OK, you’re mailing it to the wrong department. Send it here-we’ve told you this before. Can I fax it? No. Mail it. Can I email it? It would be quicker. No, they want a mailed invoice. Can I call him? NO, BITCH. MAIL THE BILL OR I’LL DRIVE UP AND CUT YOU.
There. I feel better now.
Don, where are you when I need you?
Today…
January 15th, 2010…I watched a 60+ clients eyes glaze over as I showed him TweetDeck and explained Twitter.
…I was polite to a guy named Brad from India who called about Internet Advertising.
…I did not feel sorry for telling a deadbeat client that if he can do his own web updates, then by all means, please do. But if he wants me to teach him how, there would be a charge.
…I did not toss the postage meter out the window when it said “inspection due”.
…I out-shocked the client who calls me and attempts to shock me with excessive swearing and vulgar, sexual overtones. I actually rather enjoyed it.
…I was patient with the client who, instead of reading what I sent to her BEFORE she called me, she read it to herself while I was on the phone with her.
…I realized I will NEVER be able to write down every thing that’s in my head.
…I counted the minutes until it’s time to load the car and go skiing for a week.
See ya’ January 25th! I’M ON VACATION!!
Can’t ride the Harley in this weather!
A letter from Satan
January 18th, 2010I admire good writing so much. Lily in Minneapolis sent this to the Star Tribune. She nailed it.
Dear Pat Robertson,
I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating.
I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll.
You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.
Best, Satan
Pat! Satan was a lesbian!!
Car Crash=No Post
January 27th, 2010It was a great ski trip. Then, on his way back to the city to face the reality of work, my sweetheart hit a patch of black ice yesterday morning, and rolled the car on a major highway. Like all stubborn men, he tried to refuse treatment. They talked him into the ambulance, took him to a VERY rural band-aid station where I found him shaking like a leaf. Fractured rib. Car is totaled. The living room has turned into a mini-hospital, the dining room my office. Very crabby man…but very lucky. He was wearing a seat belt. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t be here to be crabby. We’ll be right back after another Vicodin.
Chief Cook and Copy Writer
February 4th, 2010Ah….it feels good to be back. Or does it?
My sweetheart had a serious car accident. In a second, priorities shifted. But now that he’s better, reality has shown its large ass and I’m reminded what the entrepreneurial experience is all about. After 27 years on my own, why am I still surprised how intense a day can be? It’s like the bus pulled up and everyone got off at the same stop. Clients need copy changes. Media needs to be planned. Staff need a paycheck. In order to give them one, bills must go out. And surely, there’s a Yellow Pages Sales Rep who needs to be cursed.
In a small agency, you don’t have time to bask in gossip, awards, or winning new business. You learn to spin plates, buy time, reason quickly, stash snacks in your desk, keep beer in the fridge, teach clients to work on your time table, not theirs, and do it all with a certain amount of grace. That last part I have yet to master.
Today, I made a dent in the pile, engaged a potentially awesome new client, and planned tomorrow. I left my desk after 12 1/2 hours, numb and brain dead, but thankful that tomorrow I won’t have to answer to some ego crazed Art Director, put up with some annoying intern (no, not YOU Mags!) or a too-familiar office girl. It’s my nest and along with the stress comes the right to surround yourself with cool people who love makin’ the work. No Assholes Allowed. It’s good to be back!
Please…take a number!
Small town media
February 8th, 2010Allow me a moment to rant about media. Especially here in Hooterville. Small town media, just like Fox and CNN, can pick and choose and decide the tone. It really pisses me off. So it goes with our slowly dissipating newspaper, The Daily Disappointment, who highlight their owners favorite causes and politics and give credit where none is due. Like the non-story about the newly hired marketing woman with thick ankles, bad hair and sensible shoes who declared an increase in numbers for a government agency with her strategic television efforts. EXCUSE ME? We had them using television two years before she ever showed up. Along with a new web site, and a new positioning statement, and a new event catalog. Bottom line is she had nothing to do with it. So much for investigative, or relevant, journalism. (Maybe it’s because we buy very little local newspaper advertising.)
In Hooterville, there’s a LOT of mediocre media. The little community web sites that crop up under the guise of local news. They try to compete with the newspaper, TV and radio stations. Funded by small thinking Tea Partiers who are busy being righteous, God and Country conservatives, taking low level pot shots at the Mayor, county and state government.
There are VERY bad and WAY TOO MANY radio stations. Announcers with speech impediments. Dead air. Many are owned/funded by small thinking Tea Partiers who are busy being righteous, God and Country conservatives, taking low level pot shots at the Mayor, county and state government.
We have an active cable sales force and two aggressive networks (CBS and NBC) in Hooterville, with News Anchors who everyone knows too much about. The Old Drunk Guy at 6 o’clock. The young bimbo girls with coiffed curls and glossy lips who nod and gush knowingly and have nothing meaningful to say. And smug, self-assured, pushy gals selling 30 second spots when they should buy a gym membership. Every one is Number One.
And last but not least, there are Billboards, Yellow Pages, Area Wide Maps, Church Bulletins, Grocery Store Kiosks, Pharmacy Bags, Sides of Trash Cans Sponsored by the Rotary, Bus Benches, Sides of City Buses, Space on the Chamber Web Site, Flyers in the Chamber Newsletter, ads in the Charity Event Program, the Community Theater Program, the High School Sports Program, on the fence at Little League/High School/College Ball Field, the weekly farm town newspapers, ads on placemats at the local pizza/taco/fried chicken place, the side of a Race car….you get the idea.
Not one news outlet here can afford to deliver any unbiased delivery of factual information because they might piss off their friend/neighbor/customer. Because it’s a small town and they all play golf at the same country club. Gee, Happy Monday.
The Voice of Flatulance
February 18th, 2010I do a bit of voice work via an on-line talent web site. They send an invitation to audition to hundreds of us who “fit” the profile. But exactly how do I fit this job description?
The Flatulence Awareness Respect and Trust Society.
One of the copy lines was: Fourteen farts a day keeps the gastroenterologist away!
Yes, it was for a humorous project, but it’s not going on my demo reel.
Proofing and punctuation hell
February 10th, 2010We just finished the design and installation of a time line for a Franciscan University. Highlights from their past 150 years now grace both sides of their main entry. They were thrilled and we’re very proud of it. The content was proofed by me, the PR director, his staff, the university President, two friars, and a host of others. Still, TWO misspelled words made it through. Lucky for us, our printer worked magic and the corrections are invisible. Stuff like this makes me crazy. Taking the time to write and speak properly is what separates us from, well, THEM. So I added the Sentence Sleuth to my blogroll (thanks to Jakes Take for the tip) and had to share this. Funny how a little comma can make all the difference.
(via Dweebist)
The Mac Parody
February 13th, 2010If it isn’t obvious, I am a Mac. (My sweetheart is a PC….why we’re still together is another story.) Many cynical pot shots are taken at “God-Jobs”, Apple, and their success. I have many collegues who sniff in a haughty fashion about my love of all things Apple. The Mac/PC commercials with Justin and John are outstanding in their simple, witty approach while defining our personalities (unfairly at times). It was only a matter of time before this series came out. We’re all so cynical!
The Client/Vendor Relationship
February 16th, 2010Chances are very good you have this relationship with at least some of your clients. And if you do, send them to your competition.
Thank you Kathie, the best female announcer ever, for the find.
The Google Parody
February 18th, 2010My cynical spot was more than satisfied with this parody on Googles Superbowl commercial. Sarah’s quest for fame and riches continues to inspire! Thanks to Prostituted Thoughts for this little gem. I loved it.
All Things Avatar
February 20th, 2010Avatar. I haven’t seen it yet, but is it good enough to warrant this? And does Will Smith know he’s blue now?
Then there are these people, who truly do need to get a life. In Hooterville, you’ll see more camo than blue.
How to Meet Men…uh-huh.
March 2nd, 2010Take good notes on The Art of Meeting Men. Yes, a good conversation starter might indeed be a “small stuffed animal”. ”Oh, pardon me, but I couldn’t help noticing…Is that a Tickle Me Elmo you have there?” Also, I love the set. It’s so…eighties. Hilarious.
95 years of cool
March 2nd, 2010In 1915, my Grandmother Nellie Lee was born. This past weekend we celebrated her 95th birthday with a little shopping and too much to eat. Many say it’s amazing how, “at her age”, she is so sharp. And it’s true. She met my Grandfather, Paul, when she went to work for his parents at their farm. She was only 16 years old. They fell in love. Nellie Lee had twin daughters (born on the farm in the house where they lived their entire lives) when she was 20 and she and Paul were married over 50 years. She’s always been a farmers wife. She knows how to get fifty cents out of a quarter.
A life long Democrat, she’s quite sure that Obama could get things done if he didn’t have to deal with all those “other” people. When she found out her daughter was a Republican, she said, “Well, she wasn’t raised to be that way.” (Doncha love that?) Nellie Lee is witty, honest and observant and will strike up a conversation with any one at any time, putting everyone instantly at ease. Doing the right thing is what she’s all about. We could all take a lesson.
Happy Birthday Nellie Lee!
The Bud Parody
March 2nd, 2010I sense a theme coming in this blog. Parodies…hmmm. Yes, let’s continue. Thanks to Designer Extraordinaire, Tim, for the find.
A better nest
March 2nd, 2010It’s a new and improved Ad Chick! My I.T. Guru said it was time for my own domain name. You are now at SomeAdChick.com. (Adchick dot com was taken by Kathleen in Kanada. She won’t part with it.) So, I’ll go on, fighting the good fight here in Hooterville, urging our small town clients to do SOMETHING innovative, fresh and different. You can come here to see what advertising is like on the other side of the tracks. (Our idea of the working lunch is a Slim Jim, a Fresca and a bag of BBQ Chips, for Gods Sake!) It’s a damned long way from Madison Avenue and a whole different kind of client…but I work with some amazingly talented people I’ll put up against yours ANY day. Please do visit regularly and comment often…we need contact with the outside world.
My dearly departed ex-partner and creative director once asked me…Why do you insist on serving them a steak when they really want a hot dog? Because it’s my fucking restaurant, that’s why.
Don’t choke.
How much for my words?
March 16th, 2010I was making preparations for Italian Roast Beef, thinking about a very hard assignment we’ve been given. How will we ever give a Quality Assurance Program a look/feel/persona? Then, it occurred to me. (Not the idea…I wish.) When do I NOT think about work? And how do I charge for THAT time? I can see my Time and Expense report now: The idea came to me while chopping garlic for half an hour.
I have no answer for this. After almost 28 years on my own, you’d think I’d have a better sense of these things. I’m sure I leave money on the table. And God forbid, in a small town like Hooterville, they would think I’m screwing them. But, some vendors I have worked with charge for virtually every breath they take … and everybody knows it. I am also a procurer of services, so I must be careful as I am responsible for the budget. I’m not smart enough to be a wheeler-dealer, and I really do give a damn about these clients, bone-headed as they sometimes are. I sell time and talent. My time, even when garlic chopping, must be worth something. Maybe it’s not how long it took…it’s that I can…and it worked.
Wonder how much I should charge for this one?
Bad Client-Part Two
March 7th, 2010He came in looking for a fight.
“No one likes the spot. It’s not us. No one gets it. We think we need to start completely over.”
Rather than hit him over the head with a light stand and strangle him, I kept my body language open, my voice level, and asked “Why did you approve it?”
A bit wild-eyed, he exclaimed “ The wrath of the Chick”.
I’m not making this up.
We told him two things: We are not starting completely over. The concept is valid and was carefully thought out. It needs to be given a chance to work beyond a quick glance via email to 10 of your pals and handful of air-time sales girls. We will make adjustments so you’ll feel more comfortable without screwing it completely up. Further, we are disappointed that you would send the work out to colleagues and competitors for their opinion. It was an inappropriate thing to do.
He sputtered, acquiesced and then, a telling moment. He stood up and offered his hand. I didn’t stand up, neither did my camera guy. We kept our seats and shook his hand. I did not see him to the door.
Final note: Instead of a “settlement”, he sent $275 more than the original amount to cover the revision, acknowledging he had approved the work. Guilt money. (He’s about $1500 off, but that’s ok…we just want it to be over).
We all have clients who are high maintenance. It’s up to us to decide how bad we want the business. What’s the bullshit worth? In this particular case, it just isn’t.
The Wrath of the Chick.
It’ll be a cool Tattoo.
Kopy Kat Kindle Kommercial
March 11th, 2010If you didn’t watch carefully, this could be a commercial for another company we know, doncha think?
Being a good client
March 31st, 2010About 5 months ago, a client wanted to renew our relationship. They suggested they had not been a “very good client” in the past and wanted to begin anew, that they would be better about providing us with what WE needed to do a good job for them. WOW. Since then, we have worked incredibly well with these people because they held up their end of the bargain. Working for them hasn’t been a chore…it’s been a pleasure and the results prove it.
In a client/agency relationship, each has a set of responsibilities to make the process excellent and efficient. Here’s what I ask for:
Be interested in what we’re doing. Engage us, ask questions, provide us with the information we ask for in a timely manner. I don’t want to feel like I care about your business image more than you do.
Return my call or email. I’m calling because I need an answer or information in order to HELP YOU.
Don’t dictate. If you knew how to do this, you wouldn’t hire us.
Pay us in a timely manner. And if you don’t pay your media bills, we are truly done.
Don’t try to run our business. Yes, I’m a woman, but after almost 28 years on my own, I can do this and it’s mine to screw up, then fix. Thank you.
Don’t drag your religion or politics into our relationship and I promise not to do the same.
Respect our process in developing the material. We are creative thinkers, and see things very differently than you do and go about getting to the end result in a manner that might be foreign to you. Actually, this is why you called us in the first place.
Trust our information. It is our business to know ratings and data, technical applications and trends. We wouldn’t lie to you.
Remember, we sell time and talent. Every nit-picky thing you change- revisions, re-edits – cost us time and in turn, you money. We want to get it as right as possible from the beginning. Help us do that.
Be the client we love!
Bad Client Part Three
March 15th, 2010So then, the bad client (If you don’t know who this is, then you need to be a regular visitor of the Chick Nest. Read here. Then here.) calls me and asks, “You’re still gonna do work for us, even though I was a shmuck, right, because we need some radio to go with that new TV”.
I would not make this up.
OK GO! Who thinks this shit up?
March 18th, 2010This has mesmerized me. And apparently over 8 million other people. The camera dude must have been a nervous wreck.
Are they serious?
March 19th, 2010I can’t believe the states would allow it, and I can’t believe someone would actually DO IT. See ‘em all here. Thanks Huff Post!
The Construction of a Commercial
March 21st, 2010In my sports crazed household, this spot really caught our attention. Beautiful imagination at work, using the metaphor of construction, “building” young people. In a maybe too-short interview, hear how they made it…then you’ll see the final effort. Nice!
Darned Good Design
March 23rd, 2010Doncha love great design work? The simplicity says it all, gets the point across nicely and is beautifully done. Here are some of my favorites, but it was all good. Check them out HERE.
In the “You Gotta be Kidding” category
March 22nd, 2010Some ass clown in San Antonio is selling this on ebay for just $10,000. Note the Free Shipping. Good Luck, Bidders.
Beautiful & Positive
March 26th, 2010In a belligerent, hostile atmosphere that has become the American personality, let’s end the workweek with something so positive and beautiful it should melt the most cynical heart. Then you should read the story of how it was developed. THIS is creative excellence. I’m off now to a wine-tasting weekend.
What’s in Your Office?
April 6th, 2010Look around your work space. Everybody’s got stuff. It defines you…sort of. What does your stuff say about you?
My beloved Bullwinkle and Rocky Clock.
And how about the monkey…wonder what’s in the cart??
And my beloved flea market typewriter. The way we once communicated…with White Out…now long gone.
Clients see all our stuff….and we don’t care. I’m sure they wonder. And that’s good.
Teabonics
April 7th, 2010Yes, we should all be very afraid. Because those of us who work in advertising, who hold a relatively firm grasp of the English language and possess communication skills that are based on reason, discipline and the AP Stylebook, are being challenged.
Enter the Tea Baggers. They buy cars and sofas and non-diet soda and chips that aren’t low fat and tires and trucks and cheeseburgers and 10 karat gold and boxed sets of Elvis, worship Glenn Beck and buy eyewear that is exactly like Sarah’s. Now we must figure out a way to reach them with our client’s message. But first, we’ll need to write in their language, Teabonics. See the beginnings at Flickr. (Via)
And don’t accuse me of stereotyping these people. If they were really serious, they’d hire an ad agency or PR firm to at least spell check their posters.
Eat the Rich.
April 11th, 2010From an interesting little site. I must find a box. Loved the Aerosmith tag line: Eat the Rich. YUM. I’m sure it’s full of fiber.
How was MY week?
April 29th, 2010The bad client called to kiss my ass. It was embarrassing.
The President of the United States came to Hooterville. His helicopter buzzed over our building. That’s as close as I got. But I was excited he came, and relieved our Tea/Douche Baggers didn’t make a bigger ass of themselves. Good God, people … settle down and learn to spell.
We put the finishing touches on a tire commercial that will run NATIONALLY soon on the Discovery and History Channels. Yeah, that’s right. I said Nationally. We’re above average here in Hooterville.
Brought our old office manager back. It’s heaven. I’ve been at the gym three times this week before 6pm.
Our designer had a colonoscopy. We gave him 4 rolls of Angel Soft and he named his polyps. We’re so weird.
I’m on the Board of our local womens shelter. The cash flow crisis we feared would happen, has. Our fucked up state government owes us $200,000…and others plenty more. As the Board’s VP, I’m freaking out, trying to figure out a solution. Your ideas and suggestions would be more than welcome.
I had to keep reminding myself that, even though I don’t get to do what I went into business for anymore, it’s still good. It’s just that now I shuffle papers, boss clients around…and get to work with cool people.
It’s cocktail hour in AdLand!
We care about you, Trees!
April 22nd, 2010A thank you to Designer Tim for this little gem. Couldn’t these people have just turned out their lights for an hour?The world has gone mad. Happy Earth Day!
NBA. FOCUS, Damn.
April 25th, 2010NBA playoffs have begun and my sweetheart wondered if the whole thing is fixed. I don’t know about that, but I did like this promo. FOCUS. Catchy little 30. It made me feel like a Gangstress.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byeXWnfrn0s
Products you’d love to create for
April 26th, 2010This would be one of them. Can you imagine the excitement today of prepping for THIS pitch? Note the cautionary “Poisonous in Overdoses.” And 74% Alcohol….if it didn’t cure you, it would kill you. (Via a great site-criminal wisdom)
Cougar Soap
April 27th, 2010I love the Internet. I think. Check the link for Bacon Scented Soap, too.
My International Friends, Welcome!
May 14th, 2010Too much time on Google Analytics makes my eyes glaze over and I begin to see shiny objects. But I did discover that I have one visitor from Angola, France, Italy, Nigeria, and Poland. There are Mongolians who have visted Ad Chick, and I’m big in the UK and Canada. South Africa is coming along nicely. The Chick is becoming, albeit slowly, an international sensation. Well, sensation might be a little strong, but…
The Internet has made the world even smaller. (maybe that’s why we’re not getting along any better-we know too much!) Anyway, wherever you’re from, nice to meet you. Now, Sweden and New Zealand….where are you?
Today Hooterville, Tomorrow the World!
Captions, please.
April 30th, 2010
I was at a loss for words. Which is rare.
When business is good…
May 25th, 2010We have been busy. Very busy. Pitching new businesses who call us. Handling what we’ve got. So busy I haven’t had a chance to write a thing besides paying work.
“Busy” also comes with the price of the learning curve. We were on a three day shoot for a bio-tech firm from the West coast and equipment problems saved themselves for our last 2 hours. (Only with the exciting, big clients will shit like this happen.) Camera guy figured it out and saved the day. Phrases like “Data Retrieval” and “5 to 7 working days” make my blood pressure spike. Then….hard drive crashing on graphics system=quit screwing around and write the check….get that new iMAC in here NOW.
Why all this happens when business is good must mean the Ad God is looking out for us … testing our patience while cash flow is there to support it. This is how it goes in the small town agency. We figure it out as we go along and make it right. At least we’re in control of or own destiny … we’re a team in the purest sense of the word.
I’m rolling clothes for the Harley trip that starts tomorrow. Everything will be fine when I get back. In the meantime, I think I’ll order one of these. I like it.
When you gotta go, have a bowl of cereal
May 4th, 2010When walking down the cereal aisle, I’ll never look at Golden Grahams quite the same way. This hasn’t aired in Hooterville. Perhaps in your metro area.
Not too shabby…
May 6th, 2010The following commercial didn’t require a story board, long creative sessions, gobs of research, a big time director or producer, union electricians, best boys or girls, sound engineers, or craft services. It took good listening, absence of ego, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to meet a deadline. Problem is, now the Camera Guy only wants to fly in corporate jets. Watch for it nationally on Swamp Loggers and Ax Men. Not bad for a small shop.
America at its intellectual best
May 10th, 2010These people vote which explains a LOT. Thanks, Camera Guy, for scaring the shit outta me.
Don’t Force It
May 10th, 2010So I do a little voice work on the side. (I owe it to you, Marlboro Reds, in my early radio days. But I finally quit you.) Anyway, I got chosen to do a job for a PR firm in New York. I auditioned, they loved it. But when the day came, it ended up being something like this. ”You sound a little robotic.” “Really? It’s how I read it for the audition!!!” (Thanks to Kathie, who really is the finest female voice talent I have ever worked with, for the find.) Round – a – Bout. DAMN IT!
God’s Favorite Word
May 12th, 2010I wonder which Hootervillian wrote THIS copy? No wonder the pews are packed around here. (Thanks to MP for the find!)
Outstanding Design
May 16th, 2010Simple.
Bold.
Definitive.
All logo work should be this good.
Award winning. The last laugh.
June 1st, 2010Remember my little tirade back in March about the Bad Client who made our lives a living hell? If not, please go here. The ad ran ONE day, until he freaked out cause his brother-in-law (or somebody) didn’t like it. To placate him, we had to re-edit into a version far more predictable … and safer.
So, out of spite, I thought I’d enter the damned thing in the Telly Awards. It ran, so it qualified. And it won.
So there.
Come as you are…indeed.
June 2nd, 2010Here’s a spot we won’t be seeing anytime soon here in Hooterville. And I would agree it begs the question why would McDonalds feel the need to address the gay population so directly, yet, I loved it and now I think I want to move to France. Via Prostituted Thoughts, a blog I always read.
Stupid Computers
June 9th, 2010Computer problems. Everyone has ‘em. There has been, however, this large, gaping hole over us for the last month that is slowly sucking the creative life out of each of us. Very slowly. Eyes are glazing over, we visit the vending machine a little more often and we’re trying to stay positive.
As we near what we hope to Dear Sweet Jesus is the end, designer fired up his new, souped up, 27 inch iMAC. Camera Guy gets ALMOST all the video back from the Retrieval Dudes, who really work magic. It’s kinda unbelieveable, really, what these guys do. They get paid handsomely, too…but what the hell? It’s not all there, but most of it is, so let the re-editing begin. DAMN.
And me, I just want my Entourage email to work. Tomorrow, we’ll see just how well Microsoft Service folks perform. (Everyone is skeptical of Microsoft and warning me it will be painful.) Time really is money, and we’ve lost a bunch of it. At least there’s beer in the fridge.
Somebody get me a typewriter.
Oil Spill News in about 90 seconds
June 14th, 2010There are not enough hours in the day to keep up with the news on the oil spill in the Gulf. This sums it up, I believe. Blast! Throw some crap on it! (Via Tremendous News)
What’s with the Cute Kitten Metaphors, anyway?
If you like____, you might like_____.
June 15th, 2010Mindlessly looking at Facebook suggestions of things I might like based on what I’ve already listed I like came this: Michael Jackson. Many people who like Barack Obama like Michael Jackson.
Really?
I kinda miss the old days, when there were three networks, a daily newspaper, and a handful of radio stations. Life was simpler then…and a helluva lot more accurate. This one seems a bit of a stretch … to me.
Well, they were both black, once.
Kick him in the head
June 16th, 2010This is taking the world cup to a whole new level. (Via Poorly Dressed)
I Love Sushi
June 22nd, 2010Who thinks this stuff up?
(Discovered at The Browser.)
Betty Bowers
June 23rd, 2010In my late night Web stumblings, I went to one site who took me to another, who took me to another which landed me here: Betty Bowers, Americas Best Christian. Since organized religion has pretty much ruined my life and important relationships, I’m rather soured on those who drive around with their New Testaments in the back seat and then act like complete Assholes when they get out of the car. Duh. Is that really what Jesus would do? (By the way, you can follow his Tweets here.)
Anyway, back to Betty. She has such witty tidbits: As God is My Waitress, Cooking with Christ, BITCH (Bringing Integrity to Christian Homemakers, Advice: What Would Betty Do?
I’m sure I’m going to Hell, but I think it’s blasphemously funny. Enjoy.
Oh yeah, Betty is also on Facebook.
Smories, A Site for Kids
June 26th, 2010If you have kids, then show them that not everything on the Internet is naughty (like my blog). Smories is a great site featuring free original stores written by kids, told by kids. Based in the UK, (I love the Brits!) many of the children reading their work on the site have English accents, which is pretty cool for those newbies from the US who see the site. Go there. It’s very, very cool.
Agency Tart
June 30th, 2010Does anyone know what happened to agency tart? Her blog was quite funny and inspired me. I thought, hell this woman could be me except I’m in Hooterville dealing with nimrods who take the work we do back to their country club pals for approval while enjoying a few Budweisers. If she’s out there, do give her my regards. Her saucy diary of her day-to-day observations maybe got her fired?
And I quote: “Send me spam and I’ll punch you in the aorta.”
Charming.
Getting Old Sucks
July 1st, 2010If you read me, you might know about Nellie Lee, my incredible 95 year old Grandmother. She’s always been a farmers wife and a life long Democrat. Sassy attitude, sharp as a tack, and still lives alone.
That may have to change. Falling three times in five days, we’re all pretty concerned that living alone may not be safe. We’ve investigated assisted living centers. She, of course, wants nothing to do with moving out of her cat-hair-ridden, tiny apartment, her last bastion of independence.
I’ve done a quick review of the advertising done by Senior Centers. Common themes are trees with many branches and deep roots, harp and piano music, Christian living, smiling faces of white- haired people with perfect dentures. We see photos of them dancing, petting dogs or being spoon fed by some overweight Latino lady.
I fully understand the intended ad promise of the service. “Bring Mom/Dad/Grandma/Grandpa here and they won’t fall down (at least not very often), they’ll take their pills on time and when you come to visit, they won’t smell like urine or have stuff in their teeth.”
With names like Sunny Acres. The Villa. The Manor. Good Samaritan. Sunset Home. Paradise Village. Windsor Gardens. Merryvale, they sound like fancy resorts. I especially like the description of this one:
Products offered include Dementia and Hospice. No thanks. What? You don’t take VISA? It’s supposed to be offered everywhere I DON’T Want to be. Hey, you can dress it up all you want, but the fact is that moving into a place like this is often the last stop. And Nellie Lee knows it.
So what will happen to my generation when it’s our time to book a room at Golden Oaks? Will I be able to crank up Aerosmith on my stereo? What about my bong? Will the nurses make fun of my tattoos? Will they have a Sommelier on staff?
It’s not gonna be pretty. I don’t blame Nellie Lee one bit.
Why are these people smiling? Because they got to keep their rolling papers.
This blog is worth…
July 3rd, 2010$564.54.
At least that’s what Tristan Louis Research told me.
Great. Make me an offer.
(Jetpacks, you need to cash in now…you’re worth $49,679.52)
I’ll even throw in a carton of eggs.
Unfortunate
July 6th, 2010May I offer you a glass of Pschitt?
Why, yes, that would be lovely.
I’m always the last one to hear about these exotic European products.
Rip it up…
July 31st, 2010
We should do more of this.
Start a project, then rip it up and start again…and again…and again.
Until we get it just right.
Unfortunately, we don’t get too many chances to refine here in Hooterville. Time is a premium and this sort of self-indulgent activity isn’t subsidisied by small town clients. And it wouldn’t be appreciated. It’s not that the initial effort is “wrong”… it’s that creative development should be a process. There should be time to simmer, to let you understand and absorb what you’re making. Is it “just right”? Is this going to make impact with the audience? How can we write it, shoot it, design it that’s really different than what we did last time? And, once we get a potential customer motivated by the ad we do make, will the small town client not fuck it all up with crappy service or bad store hours?
I can only worry about what we can control. And everytime something goes out the door and on the air, I think of something we could have done better. Because every new day you look at what you’ve done, you see it in a brand new way. If there was only time.
Get your mind outta the gutter
July 7th, 2010It’s not what you think. This one is for your cat. What were they thinking? (VIA)
Stop thinking…Now.
July 8th, 2010It’s that time of year…we’re shining up the Harley and rolling up the clothes and we’re headed north. As always, the last 4 hours of the last day before a major trip were chaotic to the point of comical. It’s like they all know I’m trying to get the hell outta here. Piling on, people…you know how I feel about that.
Even though I have plenty of things to think about, the best creative time you can have is when you don’t think about it all. I can’t wait…I need it.
Outta the nest and on the road!
Seriously. Be serious.
July 21st, 2010If this is for real, then how does she expect to be taken seriously? Set aside the Glenn Beck for President Crap. If you don’t want to look like an idiot, then hire a professional firm to do your video work. This is bizarre. And would someone please get a make-up advisor for this poor woman.
Only in America.
I’m Baaaack
July 19th, 2010Another Awesome Harley Vacation is over and committed to memory with 92 photos that document our childish, giddy, and “fuck-it-all” attitudes. Of course, we’re more grown up now that we’ve come back to our stupid jobs.
Harleys are still the definite bike of choice followed by plenty of way-too-quiet Gold Wings, but one thing we did not see was this. A 1930 Henderson. Company started in 1911 and closed in 1931, but check this out! (Via thecoolhunter.net)
Sleek, curvy, and awesome. I could totally rock with this. Read more about it here.
Helmet Designs
July 24th, 2010I’d buy the Watermelon design, but it has to be DOT approved. And I wouldn’t wear a nipple on my head…see the collections here. Wait’ll the folks at Poopys Biker Bar here about this.
The List
July 26th, 2010I can’t think of anything Stewie left out. And I adore how he says “vagine”.
If I were younger, I’d have Seth MacFarlanes children. How weird would THEY be?
Mad Men Smoke
July 28th, 2010Thanks to Million Monkeys Typing for this one…too cancerous not to share. *cough* (I quit, but still miss it.) I especially love the sound of the Zippo lighter. Never heard anything else quite like it.
The bike search goes nationwide
August 7th, 2010The story is always the same. No matter if they’re car salesmen or motorcycle salesmen, they never wanna give you what you think yours is worth. We were $850 apart. That would have been over our highest possible budgeted amount. So if you hear about or see a 2009 or 2010 used Harley Davidson Electro Glide Classic, blue two tone…like this, let me know. The search is on!
It’s how I roll
August 11th, 2010
How can you not love this? Via
Oh, The Sights We See…
August 23rd, 2010Haven’t posted in over a week. Bad Chick. Emergencies inside the nest and trying to sell my own house have kept me preoccupied. Much needed Sunday escape on the Harley tells you where I really live. The cat had that WTF attitude.
For Real?
August 24th, 2010
I hope Twitter Saved the Day.
Poopeyheads
April 20th, 2010I made a grown woman cry.
At a closed Board Meeting of a Social Service Agency for whom I do a TON of volunteeer work, I blurted out that I thought another Social Service Agency was an intimidating bunch of Poopeyheads. Yes, I said Poopeyheads. (I was trying to be funny, OK? There were two ministers present, so I thought Shithead was a little strong.)
So, a fellow Board Member said she took issue with that comment, that she served on this OTHER Board and she did not consider herself to be a Poopeyhead. Yes, she said Poopeyhead. Then she suggested haughtily that we agree to disagree and move on.
Next morning, we all get an email, saying she was upset that no one else came to her rescue while she was being victimized and called names. She was done “fighting back the tears” as she went to her car after meetings. She was resigning from the Board. Really?
Man up, lady. It’s women like you who keep us other bitches down. Too emotional, bitchy, back-stabbing, whiney, gossipy … the list goes on and on. I know I’m pretty direct and should keep my big mouth in better check, but damn. (None of the other Board Members who called me later felt she needed any rescuing, that it was no big deal.)
Anyway, a man would NEVER have done something like that. It’s no wonder we don’t rule the world.
Tags: big mouthed women, blurting out stupid comments, board members, social services, volunteering, women, women in a mans world
Posted in From the chick's nest | 6 Comments »